Becoming a Coach: Alec's Journey of Discovery and TransformationApr 11, 2023
Faisal Ensaun: All right. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. I don't know why I like saying this, but I've been saying this a lot in my videos. I'm excited about this new series. I'm just gonna be having conversations with my clients.
To see how they thought about the coaching process ahead of time. Why did they jump into coaching? Out of all the things they could have done, what impact did it have on their life? How is this supporting them moving forward? And what should people be thinking about if they're looking for support?
Is it coaching? Is it therapy? Is some other kind of support that they need to be looking for? So if you're watching this, this will help you understand. When should you be thinking about getting support at whatever level, specifically we're gonna go more into coaching and how that makes a difference.
And I'll be sharing some of my experiences cuz I have my coaches. But in this one, Alec is gonna be sharing his experience and Alec is probably one of my most inspiring clients, I've enjoyed working with Alec. And it's inspired me a lot to be better in a lot of ways as a leader.
And so I'm excited to jump into this conversation. So first of all, Alec, thank you for doing, doing this.
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, I'm super excited. Thanks for the invite.
Faisal Ensaun: You're welcome. And, I'm excited to jump into the conversation. So let, let's start from the beginning. Like what, tell us a little bit like an overview, quick overview of what was happening in your life before you decided to kind of go into coaching.
Because I don't, I don't even think, I don't think I was your first coach, so you kind of mm-hmm. Went through the process. And there was a shift that was happening. What was going on for you to even consider coaching or jump into the coaching world?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, so I believe it was back in 2021, beginning of 2021, I think.
And essentially I had. Been working up through the company I work for and where I was an engineer. Then I went to kind of a managerial supervisor-type role where I was over 30 different people. And it was in that role that I felt like I had a ton of stuff going on. I was continually growing and developing, but I just didn't see where this career path was taking me.
I wasn't fulfilled, I wasn't excited about exactly the things I was doing. There were pieces of it that were fun, but overall I just kinda felt like I was drowning in a lot of ways and I was like this getting a good job, continuing, developing and growing, and moving up in a company was kind of the path I was always shown as
that's the path to success, that's the path to fulfillment. That's what my parents did. And that worked well for him and that's awesome. But it wasn't working for me. And I jumped into investigating real estate at that time to try to look at some setaside hustle, looking at financial freedom, right?
That was trying to get. And hit my time back cuz I didn't love what I was doing
Faisal Ensaun: before, before you move forward. I, I'm curious because of that part, you said that you were drowning and yeah, it wasn't working for you, but so what was the difference? Like why was it, w why did that, why do you think that worked for your parents but it wasn't working for you?
Like, what were you missing in that process?
Alec Dilorenzo: So I think the biggest thing I was missing was. I Was doing it because it was something that was always told was the right thing to do, but I had never stopped to evaluate if it was something I wanted to do. If I felt aligned with that path and with that journey that I was on, and it had been four or five years and I started feeling this, something was missing, like there was just some uneasiness in like, like feeling my chest anxiousness or whatever that was that like just something felt off and I didn't know what that was.
And that's what led me to. I want to, you know, understand I wanna do something different. So start looking at real estate. Real estate put me outta my comfort zone in a lot of ways. A lot of challenges, calling different people, and being brand new to a field I didn't know much about. And it was super uncomfortable and I knew I needed to grow.
And that's where I was like, I'm gonna start working with a coach. And that's where I got my very first coach. And we worked on the main high-performance habits. , clarity, you know, productivity, courage, influence. Energy. And it was in those sessions that I started to get a lot more clear about what I wanted to do.
And so it was in those sessions I started to understand like, hey, I kind of just started coaching cuz I wanted to be able to take more action and move faster in real estate.
That's why I initially got into coaching and I wanted to do real estate because I just didn't feel fully aligned with what I was doing at work. But as I started going down coaching, I started to realize, hey, there are pieces of my job I love. I had just gotten into a new role around the time I was coaching, and this new role was focused on developing our people, and our process.
A business I worked at for a facility, a large facility, and I started realizing how much I loved seeing people improve or helping them bring ideas to reality and watching them have these aha light bulb moments and seeing other people get super excited about the progress. And I loved seeing that progress in them and that like lit me up.
And so I started discovering how much that was starting to mean to me as I discovered more about my coaching in my coaching sessions. And so that's kind of where it brought me to the end of my first, I think, six months of coaching. And when I got out of that, I was still kind of pursuing real estate, but it was extremely lackluster.
It was very, it felt very forced. If I didn't feel aligned working at my job, I felt even less aligned in working in real estate. It felt like I was…
Faisal Ensaun: That's interesting. You went towards that to be aligned, but you felt less aligned in real estate. Yeah.
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah. I was doing it for, call it financial freedom, right?
That, that's why I went towards real estate. I wanted to get freedom. I love, I've always loved the idea of, you know, just pushing myself, developing myself into something challenging, Hey, real estate's, something that's kind of self-made. Working with a team. I like working with teams. But there's a ton If you're in real estate like there's a lot of underwriting, there's a lot of analysis, there's a lot of, you know, calling and, and talking with people on different deals, which wasn't terrible.
But at the same time, it felt like I was going to be doing a ton of work and that's what it felt like work for a payoff in 3, 4, 5 years. That's kind of what my plan broke out too. And doing real estate syndication. And building this portfolio, closing on properties, getting tiny fractions of them, and building up those fractions for long-term passive investments and passive income.
And I know a lot of people, cause I'm still very much in conversations with a lot of those professionals that they love it and I love that they love it and that it's getting them their freedom. But it was not something I enjoyed doing and I started to realize that I loved that personal development, that helping people win side of things.
And a lot of that stems from, as I was kind of coming up in engineering, into supervising. Whenever I saw somebody with a problem, my role was to go and support and help them solve it. And there were so many problems throughout all of our plants and our areas and I would get so inspired when I saw someone that had an idea and they wanted to solve this problem so that they could have, you know, a better time at work and live a better life.
And so when I would support them and help them get that done and see them light up, help them bring their vision to reality, that was super fun and super exciting. And it inspired me because I didn't know what my vision was and I could see it in them. And so I loved, and that's what I started to realize through the coaching is
maybe that my path, maybe what I want to accomplish and do in life is to help people find what they have them fired up, what they love, and help them accomplish that. Cuz that just lights me up.
Faisal Ensaun: I love that. I love that. and I can see your passion and heart there which I love. So now let's, let's go towards how you got stuck with me.
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah. I think you reached, it was actually a book club, I think is where we kind of got reconnected. Julie Holly's book club. And so that was through the Warrior Program, which is the real estate group I was in. So Julie advertised that she was doing a book club. I joined that book club, and it was, and basically in those conversations you were there and the book club, I don't even remember what book it was, but it was very, you know, personal development type conversations, growth-oriented completely.
And I love those conversations and you reached out to me, I think on Facebook and just said, Hey, I'd love to jump on a call and learn more about like what you got going on, see how I can support you. And so we jumped on a call and I can't exactly remember the details of that conversation, but I think you invited me to a group coaching session.
Faisal Ensaun: Actually what I said and what, what happened there. I, I even remember where I was standing. I was actually in my backyard. Yeah. So I that, that, I have an odd memory around this stuff. I remember these things very well. So I'll tell you what I remember. So I remember at the time I think you were still working with a coach.
Alec Dilorenzo: Yep. I was. That was still in time with my first
Faisal Ensaun: Are you considering you working with him?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, I can't. I can't remember the details.
Faisal Ensaun: So here's, here's then I'll, I'll share with my perspective because I mean, I, I saw you so many times in those conversations in the book club and, and I just saw something in you and, and the, and I could tell you were seeking something and, and I. I really thought that.
It's like what I saw. I don't think you saw it. And even when we have the conversation, I just wanted to check in, like to see if you had any support around that. And you told me a little bit about the coach and asked, she's like, what kind of program the coach is offering? What is it? And I asked you all the details and, and my concern was, and I think I literally told you like, here's my concern.
I think that's how I framed it I don't know if this coach is able to see what I'm able to see. And that's a concern for me because coaches can coach you at different levels. It could be, but if they're not able to see your potential, like always like as, as a rule of thumb, if I work with two coaches, if one has even more skillsets than the other, if one person sees more potential in me, I would rather want to go with them.
They see something in me that the other coach, the other coach will also be helpful. But it might be a different thing. So I did invite you too cuz normally, I do a strategy session, but I didn't feel like I needed to do that, but I'm like, you know what? It's not gonna hurt. Just let me just invite him to a group call.
It was a group coaching call in my community. That's what I remember. Does that ring a bell? I'm just making shit up.
Alec Dilorenzo: It does, it does. Yeah. No, as you say that, I remember somewhat of that phrasing actually as you say that. Okay. Okay, good. Yeah. recalling some memory.
Faisal Ensaun: Like so I'm not making up everything.
Okay. So you went into the group. What was it about the group and what was it about that experience that how, because right after that you jumped into the, at least the group program. Yeah.
Alec Dilorenzo: Now it's funny cuz like, I was kind of reflecting a little bit, you know, on kind of what brought us here today.
And I looked in my email cause you send out a group summary, a group, you know, summary of all group sessions. And I think I've been in 32 since I joined you, which is a ton. Yeah, it's a ton of sessions. And as I, whenever I think about the group sessions like I just love them so much cuz I love seeing other people's perspectives.
Hearing other people's takes on deep topics, seeing their ideas, and bouncing ideas off each other. I think that's super valuable. And there's just so I don't remember what that very first topic was, but I love that we have like breakout sessions. We can go deep and just kind of talk with someone and connect with 'em.
And these topics are not just the ones that I was used to talking about. It wasn't just like productivity or energy, it was like freedom. I don't know, even like vision setting. I think we might have been even a vision exercise. I don't remember. But I loved the depth that we went into on just what seemingly can be simple topics from the outside looking in.
Yeah. And so it was really just a deeper look at how far the rabbit hole goes, I guess you could say from a personal development side of things.
Faisal Ensaun: All right, we're going towards Matrix. Yes. So I'm, I'm curious, so beyond the fact, so part of it is, that's interesting and because you are interested in that topic, you were attracted to that.
So when you say we went deep, but what, what did that, what did that do for you? Like what did that do for you in your day-to-day life? But what was the impact of it?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, so lemme put it this way, I guess the metaphor. And this is, I think, what I contribute to you heavily. When I'm having conversations with you, as you mentioned, seeing the potential of someone.
I think a big part of that is you can see, and you help me see who I really am and what my dreams and my desires my goals are, and you help me connect to that a lot clearer. It's like when we're born, we have these glasses on that are just completely fog free, right? And that is truly who we are. But then as we grow, There are beliefs from others that get put on us, different perceptions, different, all these different things, society and whatever there is, and we start to act like someone else or like we're not because we're trying to fall in line.
That was the case for me heavily and as we started having conversations, it was like a little bit of the fog was getting knocked off my lens that it fogged my, glasses and my vision for my self and whenever we talk a little more, the fog goes away and I can see a little better glimpse into who I want to become and what my vision is for my life.
And I think that's the power of working with you specifically. And that's what the group session also did for me, is it helped give me insights into what I felt aligned with. And I just keep getting more and more insights whenever we have these conversations. And being able to keep that fog off longer between sessions, which is part of reps, which is part of just continuing coming back and having the conversations the better ability I am to be able to continue to act on that vision outside of the sessions.
Faisal Ensaun: I love that analogy, so as, as your lens got more and more clear when did you start to see the effect of that clarity in your life? What was that growth pattern that you started to see in your work and your personal relationships and your own behavior and the little things that you did?
Like what, what was the effect? Because ultimately people like, why the hell am I putting all this money to do this? Because of a lot of people. That for, and, and for those who are listening who are not in the coaching world, they have never been coached and they're like, well I'm going there for somebody to tell me what to do.
But that's not really what coaching is. It's about getting you to think in this case at least think deeper about what matters to you truly, and which direction can you go towards. Like what, what, what we care about more is to get you unstuck and get you accelerated more towards what matters to you
and to your values, to your own life. So what was the impact that you began to see through the process?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah. It was continually getting more and more connected to, what I do, what I'm focused on now, and what my passion and my dream are, which is to be like a world-class coach. And that's what I want to become.
And I'm what I'm working on. And so back then I was starting to, it's funny as I reflect. I started to do more one-on-one sessions with the people on my team and start to work more with them. Kind of like how you would work with me or like my other coach worked with me and I started seeing them come alive.
I started leaning into that, what I loved to do, almost like subconsciously it, it was, it was like something I started to realize was so important and so I just started doing more of it, and as I did more of it, it became more and more clear that that's what I love to do. It'll, you basically, it gave me the confidence to actually take some action and, and stop just playing
in the world of personal development, that's what I feel like I did for a really long time, is I was absorbing information and just being like, oh, cool information. And then I would just keep doing it and I was like obsessed with just gaining and gorging on information cuz it was almost fun. But it wasn't until I started actually experiencing the learning and doing the learnings, I was doing.
That, that vision and that clarity started to come more and more, and now it's completely like a momentum rolling down a hill. That action is just picking up and picking up and picking up. Yeah.
Faisal Ensaun: Yeah. I love that. and I've seen your journey. It's like, it's been exciting for me to watch. So I'm thinking it's much more for you in your own life.
Like only do next. So, before we go into more of those areas, I'm curious to hear, cuz you started with the group program and they're at least three tier tiers at the time when and you're still working with me, so you went from group to the next tier, which we started doing more one-on-one calls.
Mm-hmm. And then, Then we started doing even more one-on-one calls. So at this point, it's twice a month that we're doing. And you went from not doing a lot of one-on-one calls. I think you got one or two bonuses. You were mostly twice a month. And then you started doing one-on-one calls once a month, and then you went twice.
That's the extent of what I offered. Yes. So if I was offering more, maybe you would've gone too. Maybe you might have regretted it. So, so I'm curious, like what was it that got you to want more exposure to the one-on-one side of things versus group? Because you were doing both, even with the one-on-one, still showing up with the group.
So what was it about that? And you were spending more and more money, so you're investing more and more money. So like help me make sense. Hopefully, you won't.
Alec Dilorenzo: No. Yeah, I would say it ultimately comes, what jumps to my mind the most around this is at each time I was decided, do I sign up or do I not?
What level do I sign up for, right? Originally did I sign up for group coaching? And it was the same thought process every time. Is this decision? If I say yes to it, is it gonna move me closer to my goals? Closer do I want, or if I say no, is it gonna move me further or not closer to my goals?
And if I could just keep making decisions that are gonna move me closer to my goal and I, and I could see the benefit, then I was like, I wanna make that decision. So start with group coaching. I think this will put me closer to my goal. Let's go see it. And it started getting more and more clear and I started getting more excited about the development.
I was seeing my growth go from like this to this, right? That growth started to tip. And then it was, well, should I increase my one-on-ones? And I'm like, well, the 90-minute sessions we had is like four group coaching sessions cuz it's just focused on, on me. And so I could see like if I say yes to this, I think I'm gonna massively start to grow even faster.
And it worked. And so then it was like, do you wanna up? Or like, you know, it's the next time around, you know, there's the option to increase this frequency even more. And I was like, you know, it's continually benefited me to continue to go into it. I've continued to grow faster. I've seen that growth curve increase.
I felt like I'm getting more mo momentum and if we can go from talking once a month personally to talking every other. I'm like, I should be seeing my growth double. And even today, I feel like as we've talked through more leadership-based things like that leadership side of my life is getting so much more clear and I am seeing just massive returns in working with the different teams and in my new role at this company to where I'm providing a bigger impact
then I, in the past I just had no idea. I had no idea how to deal with certain situations, and now I feel like I can just flow through them and support everybody. And bring everyone along into a better place.
Faisal Ensaun: Yeah. I love that, thank, thank you for sharing that. And I, I wanna honor you for, for your wisdom and courage to be able to, to, to see that because a lot of people they don't see the bigger picture of what that Im impact is.
And for you, it's the impact has been around the team members that you've worked with, the company you're working with you unpacking that and I wanna go into some of the specific areas, cuz one area I remember there was an opportunity for you to get a promotion. Oh, I remember that very clearly. Where you actually got to step back and look at what you were offering.
And it was the first time you did that and you actually asked for more and ended up getting it. What was this one?
Alec Dilorenzo: Oh man, that was an uncomfortable day. Yeah. So can, what's the question one more time? The specific question.
Faisal Ensaun: So the reason, like what, do you feel like the coaching had anything to do with you, not only going towards promotion but also asking for what your, what your services are worth?
Alec Dilorenzo: Absolutely. Yeah, with, I think we had a one-on-one like a week before or something like that, and I think I mentioned some along how, like I'm considering asking for more, I'm not sure how to go about this. And I think we went a little deeper on the influence that week, and you gave me a worksheet, even you gave me an influence-based worksheet.
And so I took that worksheet and I completely filled it out, focused on, you know, how do I influence basically my hiring manager to let him see that I believe that my value's worth more than I'm getting offered, right? And I want to be able to articulate and have him also agree with this. Otherwise, there's no point.
That was the idea, and I sat down and did that entire worksheet, and as I filled that thing out, it was basically just me reflecting on what my worth truly is and what work I've done on myself, and reflecting on all of the one-on-ones that we've had, reflecting on the personal development journey that I've been on for seven years.
Reflecting on the impact that I've made with the company so far. I went from, I think originally I was getting like, I wanna say it was like a five or 6% raise was the offer. And as I went through this and I started looking, I was like, man, I was starting to get so excited about the confidence that I had built through the personal development journey through seeing how much value I can truly bring and how much I can provide this, this business and, and everyone I work with cuz I just want
build everyone up to be the best they can. And I was like, I think that instead of going, cause I was gonna originally go back and ask for like 10% and I ended up going and ended up asking for a 20% raise. Woohoo. Which was absolutely crazy. And they met me somewhere in the middle, I'll say that. But yeah, that was an absolutely empowering moment that I
absolutely did not, wouldn't have done. By no means can I imagine I would've done that without all the work that I had done and the sessions that we've had and the development.
Faisal Ensaun: Yeah, that's incredible. And then this is where like coaching, like this is where the rubber meets the road where people don't see it.
Like you, you won't know what it is, but. It's having a tangible effect on your income. It's having a tangible effect on your leadership abilities, having a tangible effect on how your confidence shows up. It's having a, not to mention all the background stuff as how you think about your life, because part of it is just getting the raise, like money can go up and down, but something that's priceless in that your ability to ask for what your service is and what your involvement is worth.
That will take you to places where you will be much better at sales, at negotiations, at business, especially as you're transitioning into business slowly, that can give you unlimited income. Like there are, there is no, the, the upper limit for that is, Pretty much what you decide at that point. And, and a lot of people don't realize, like there are people who work at jobs and, and this is, and I, and I've seen this like with my clients like they're working at jobs and this is what they do.
So they're like, and this is what they're taught. It's so, it's hilarious when you watch it. It can be painful and hilarious at that time. So they're doing the work and they're making sure they're staying a little bit later. So the boss notices it, they're coming in early. It comes from decades of advice that does not work.
But they're not explicitly going and having conversations about their strengths and about what they're bringing to show them the work. Collecting evidence help the employer see, and employers know this as a good employee will, will pay for themselves. A great employee will pay five to six times, maybe even 10 times more than what they're, so it's an investment for an employer.
But if they don't see the evidence, and so they're hoping that if they see me work longer, there's somebody we talked about that's funny. It's like if you wanna look like you're productive in a corporate environment, just make sure you're busy on the phone, have a fire under you, and walking around, stressed out.
It looks like you're very productive. There you go. So I, I really, and I love that you, like, you applied that and, and just that was a result for that. And before we go to the business, I want to go, cause I know we did a lot of work on the personal end too. So part of it was the clarity around the bigger vision and then your confidence and work.
But a big part of what we have been working on, we won't go into the details of the personal, but in your personal relationships. There were a lot of emotional things, hurdles that we, you had to work through for you to have better relationships with your parents, and with the people around you. I know at some point you created these dialogues and discussions in your own book club and your family with your friends, but so what, like overall, not to go into details cause I don't unless you feel comfortable to do that.
What impact did it have on your relationships and how did you look at relationships? Cuz a lot of our work was around that too. Yeah, it certainly did.
Alec Dilorenzo: So I'll say
it's so easy. It was easy for me. Like I do like a phone call with my parents every week. Like that's just always been how it is. And I stay connected with friends here and there through text messages. As you know, I get older and the friends I had in high school and college when they're just kind of, people start to move into different places of the world and then you lose touch and things like that.
And as you lose touch, you can kind of lose perspective or you just have select memories about different types of things in your, in how you remember people and how you remember your past. And as I worked through and, and went deeper down, call it this rabbit hole of personal development. And as bigger challenges come up, I started to discover, I think we started to discover that there was kind of some things from the path or the way that I viewed different relationships that were holding me back or were formative in what got me to where I am today.
And understanding why that would allow me to kind of, I'll say take full ownership of that part of my development and how I can best utilize it for moving forward and supporting others around me. And so we did a lot of really good deeper work on, you know, there were some of those key moments in my life with relationships with people, and how impactful and beautiful those moments could be and what the true lessons in them are and how I can look at them with compassion and empathy and, and, and love and really, Take the most of them and, and move forward with just the best for everyone involved.
And, and it's been absolute, it has been transformative from how I go into relationships, how I communicate with people, and how I can just see, you know, how everyone has their own perspective. And it's important to keep that in mind.
Faisal Ensaun: Yeah. And would you say that this has improved the quality of your relationships with your friends, with your parents, and with your team members?
How, how you feel within those relationships, how do you perceive them, and how do you support them?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah. I would say all the relationships that I've wanted to make stronger or really had meaning with them. They've all, I guess, deeper is the word. They all feel like they're deeper. I can have deeper conversations. They know more about me than maybe they used to. Or really, really like how I feel. I'm like the vulnerability in both directions. I feel like I can really connect more with, I mean, just even the people in my family and my close friends more than I had before where maybe it stayed, you know, artificial on the surface.
Cuz there was just some level of, now sometimes when you're talking to someone, it's hard to get past that first level. There's just something blocking it, and it seems like that's been knocked outta the way.
Faisal Ensaun: I love that. And, and I would say, I mean, that's an area and I, I wanna honor you in that area because I would say even more than business and work, I think that area takes more courage because so much of who we are is wrapped up in our relationships.
And so much of our pain is wrapped up in our relationships. And in fact, like one thing that's. So obvious to me over and over whenever I've worked with business owners like they're human beings, we forget whether they're successful or not. They bring so much of their past with them into their business as we all do, including me.
But there are things that are, they're completely missing at this point. So they might have gotten hurt at some point in their life and they don't even remember it a lot of times, they will keep repeating that pattern with their business partners, with their employees because they feel like somebody's gonna take advantage of them because they've been hurt in the past.
Or they might have created meaning around a certain type of relationship or relationships in general. Now they have a worldview around how people will treat them or how they need to treat people, and it makes them show up in ways. As a leader, that's not helpful. That keeps people up bay. And as you said, one of the things that happen is that it opens you up to connection even though there's risk involved.
And that's why I say there's courage that it takes to get open up because mm-hmm. We all know that there's a risk of feeling hurt in every relationship. And I think to love is to, to is to be open to that risk. Because it's normal, but there's it. The challenge is that our mind remembers the pain point, but it doesn't remember a lot of times all the beautiful and positive things that have happened.
And as soon as people connect with that, I holy shoot. The effect is much more positive than negative. It's just that I remember more of the negative. Or I experience it more sometimes, a lot of the time we don't even remember the experience, but we remember the pain of it, and so it makes us act a certain way.
So the fact that you've kind of moved towards that, I think it takes better courage and I've had to go through my journey and I'm still going through that to figure out how I can show up better in my relationships as a father, as a husband, as a son, as a brother. And it's a difficult journey.
I would say probably one of the most difficult journeys for a lot of people and, and what people forget is that affects your interaction within your business, within your work, within your team. And you might say that, well, no, I keep that stuff. But no, you cannot separate that stuff from who you are cuz you walk around with all of you.
You don't walk around keeping it. You might be able to suppress it and get refocused and just, Hey, I'm talking business. But you don't realize how much of that shows up. And you were able to become aware of that. I'm curious to hear what are your thoughts about that.
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, it makes me think about how like one of the bigger maybe realizations around how I showed up around others.
For a long time, I would hold back. In my opinion or what I felt because I didn't wanna be judged like that, that was it still shows up sometimes, like around social media. I still have some discomfort there but I'm continually working through it. But in big meetings at work, if it's a big group, I might hold back from sharing my opinion and I'll like pull someone aside on the side and tell it just to them.
Cuz opening myself up to a lot of judgment was terrifying. And as I continue to develop and as I have ideas. I've gone from, it's something I should do to, it's like my obligation to do this, to speak what I need to say. And with no one else's because everyone who has a perspective or has an idea or has a view on something should feel like they have the ability to bring it up and, and have it be talked about.
And that's super important. And if I can't do that and show other people, it's okay. And that even if it's uncomfortable, you should do it. Then they might not be themselves. And so I have to help 'em lead the way on that to show others that might be quiet or hesitant that still bring it up, do it.
It's, it's for the best good, it's for the best outcome, and whenever I don't, however, I do hold back, then I'm just holding back others around me. I'm holding back myself and I'm holding back the greater good that that idea would be supporting.
Faisal Ensaun: Yeah, that, that's such a huge shift in the belief of going from, well, maybe I should speak up to, Hey, I need to speak up this cuz this is hurting me.
This is hurting people in my environment and it's stopping us from growing as a culture, as a community, and as a family, however, that shows up. And that is a very difficult decision that a lot of leaders are not able to make and a lot of people rely on. And so people don't realize this, but leaders fall into what they do, like based on skillset a lot of times.
So, a lot of the skillsets are technical. A lot of the skillsets are like, they've been doing it for a while and somebody promotes them in that position. They don't go through, and they, now it's becoming more normalized where people get leadership training and, and stuff like that. But they. Really go through a process where they have to do a check-in inside and figure out like what are the challenges that they're bringing into the culture and team.
Nobody does that. And they get to a point and then they are exposed to another leader who hasn't done that work. And then they just carry forward the same challenges. And before they do it, they do things a certain way. When you ask, when I've asked my clients, why do you do that? They don't know. And then when we trace it back, oh, this person used to that.
This other leader. And then when we trace it back beyond that, it's like, why were you attracted to that? Because, oh, I didn't deal with this part of me. And now we end up in a world where leaders are walking like, like we're walking, talking Like we literally have blinders on when we're walking if we're not able to notice what we're bringing into that space, it looks like we're seeing and hearing things, but that's not how it works with the human mind and it has a tangible effect in the world.
And that's one of my passions is that I love working with leaders cuz you get to go out there and impact so many other people. And pretty much everybody's a leader, first of all, for themselves. You start with a leader, you being a leader yourself, I think that's a primary form of leadership.
And then as you get into other spaces, you influence other people. So I, I really love that you, you've gone on that journey, and for me, it means a lot. So thank you for sharing that. That's, that's powerful. Yeah. So just a couple of other things. Before I go to the business side, one other thing. So what has been the impact of coaching?
Cuz one of the areas where people struggle is stress and overthinking and getting stuck with things, overanalyzing things, so with their thoughts and emotions. And then it starts to impact behavior where they're either not making decisions quickly enough, not jumping into opportunities, or they're stuck with whether or not I should talk to this person having a difficult conversation.
What has been the impact, impact of coaching on you in terms of your own thoughts and emotions? Do you, do you feel more at peace? Do you feel more connected? Do you feel happier in general or, of course, we're all on that go journey? We all have those things, but do you feel like you're able to better deal with your own system?
You're able to create a better quality experience for yourself?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah. I think it's massively increased my awareness of my emotions. I would say I've never been someone that feels a mass amount of stress or, or anger or anything like that, but I can absolutely feel, you know, fear or discomfort when doing something, and just shying away from it and ignoring it is easy to do.
Because you know, when something just uncomfortable happens, you ignore it, then you just pretend it isn't there. That happened for a long time. But coaching made me so much more self-aware of these things. And at first, a little bit of it was, I'm more self-aware of it and that's uncomfortable and like, shoot, I can't ignore it anymore.
Well, I guess I have to go deal with it. And now I have to face myself. I want to keep growing. I have to go put myself and, and, and work and use the things that we've talked about and actually face it and move into it. And as I've done that, it's been extremely rewarding. I would say just from the emotional and fulfilled side.
Stepping into the things that scare me has been just exciting. It's been fun. It has, I feel like I have these moments of anxiousness and turmoil because the things I'm doing are, mean so much to me than they, more than they used to. And so that it's hard and that's scary. But then the other side is so much more rewarding and like I did it.
I made progress. I'm moving forward. So I feel like I have so much higher highs and I don't really have many lows personally. I just don't. And I just, I am able to, Just be much more self-aware, I think is the biggest thing so far. My thoughts, my emotions. Be able to quickly bounce back into good emotions and have all the different tools and things we've talked about to stay present, stay focused on, you know, gratitude is huge, and just making sure that, you know, I'm not getting stuck in a rut like I used to a long time ago.
Faisal Ensaun: Thank you. Thanks for sharing that. So, the last thing I want to go into it, is now you're on a completely different trajectory. You went from being involved in personal development for your own reasons personally, and you were taking in information to having like getting open to financial freedom. You jumped into real estate and then started to notice as you went through the coaching process, hey, maybe this.
The coaching thing is for me. And by the way, it's, it's not like that with everybody cuz there's a small percentage of my clients that get attracted to coaching, but not everybody does. But there, there are a few people who start to see this as a possible path, whether it's within their organization or as a business.
But for you, it's become more of a business. Not just, oh, I just wanna start a business. But you're like, one of your biggest goals is to become a masterful coach. And you're now on that journey. How, how did that come about? How did you, like, how are you feeling about this path?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, I'm super excited. I'm super excited about it.
I would say it was about six months ago now that I started to realize I just love the one-on-one coaching at work that I was doing with some of my teams. Seeing them transform and, and helping them realize that you know, they are capable of so much more than they're giving themselves credit for. And just helping pull that out of them, helping them like hold up the mirror to show that to 'em and seeing them just be vibrant, be excited, come to work.
Just way more energized than they used to be. And I was like, man, if that is an impact we can make, if I can help with one person, I'm like, I wanna do this with more people. Cuz not only does that support them. I see how much more they're able to influence the people around them positively. And it's just like, boom.
A ripple effect. And I'm like, that's incredible. We need more people I believe that want to lead, want to support others in growing. If everyone starts supporting and to building up the people around them, then it's gonna be like wildfire. And that's what I want to be. I want everyone to support everyone in theory that would be amazing.
And so, yeah, like six months ago I was like, there's something here that's really that I'm, I'm just really enjoying and I love, and I'm like, I wanna start pursuing this. So what does that look like? And I think we started talking about like coaching Mastery Community is what you mentioned to me. And so I joined the Coaching Mastery Community.
It was interesting cuz the first three months, I don't have like a coaching certification. I don't have these frameworks on how to coach through these different types of programs. And so I was in this kind of like, how do I develop my own coaching program? How can I move into this? Like, or do I go get certified?
So there were a lot of kinds of thoughts around it and as much development as I had to go into this new venture. It was still scary. I still had doubts about it, I just was trying to start up on the real estate side and I kind of am putting a hold on that and doing some passive investing there. But like I went into that to be active into what that be my freedom and I'm, so I have these doubts on, is it gonna be the same thing in coaching?
Like that was a what? Like that in my mind. That's also a big reason why I was like, I need to keep just making decisions that are gonna move me closer to my goals. And I do love coaching and so I'm gonna join that coaching community where I started actually coaching somebody, cuz that's part of the program.
And it comes back to what I said earlier on. I can go learn I can absorb books and listen to podcasts about coaching all the time and I enjoy that. But it comes down to actually doing coaching. I. I was not in love with sitting at my computer and making, you know, frameworks on how to coach people.
I was in love with the actual transformational process of coaching someone. And by doing that and experiencing that, gets me so much more excited. Cause I see, hey if this is working and I'm seeing them change, how much better can I get to make an even bigger impact on them? And I wanna just keep making a bigger impact.
And so this year is when I really kind of said. All right, everyone keeps saying that I need to take action and go do outreach and talk with people and start doing more coaching. Let's just go do that. So I started doing outreach, started reaching out to people, started having coaching sessions, and I have at least four or five of them a week now with prospective clients and just people that I wanna support.
And it has been super fun. It has been incredible to be having constant conversations with people, helping them kind of take some nuggets and seeing them have these insights and grow and being like, this is what coaching is like. I thought you were just gonna kind of come tell me what to do. It's like, no, you, you know what you what to do.
Let me just tell you, kind of take a look and let's figure out what possibilities there are for you. And so it's been an absolute blast. I've been loving it and I just want to keep diving deeper into it. And,
Faisal Ensaun: thank you for sharing that. And by the way, for those who are listening, coaching Master Community is one of my other companies where I'm, because as I've learned cuz I've gone on my own journey and I completely agree with everything you're saying it's been starting a business cuz I transitioned from an engineering world to coaching world to when I was starting out.
Especially if you don't have a business background. And on top of that, a coaching business background it's very difficult to build a business. And in fact, when you look at the statistics, it's kind of really grim in the sense that most coaches I think on average 20,000 per year or something.
It, nobody can sustain that in this economy, at least in the Western world. And. So I started thinking, well, what helped me move forward? It was actually a community of coaches. It wasn't frameworks or programs and stuff. It was that, and the whole idea of that company came about because of that. And as, as Alec and I started working together, I'm like, okay, if that's the direction you, you're going and you need some, you don't just need this coaching, what you need as a community of coaches that will support you to move ahead in your profession.
So that's the professional development side of it. Just for context, And, and so what I hear there from you is that your path has become, your vision has become much bigger and you're, you're now much more aligned on your path and you're seeing an acceleration of where you're going in terms of your own development, your career path, and your future vision.
Would you say that's accurate?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, Absolutely. It's, it's been a crazy shift even just in the last three months where I went from essentially thinking that the freedom that I was after was about freedom to go and kind of do whatever I wanted to go hang out with friends whenever I wanted to go watch Netflix whenever I wanted.
Like that's what financial freedom was, is all of the money to be able to, you know, do whatever I felt like I wanted to do. And as I get more into coaching and I support more people and I'm having more conversations, I'm realizing that what I really want is I just want to get better at this and do this more.
And the only way that I'm gonna be able to achieve that is if I truly, I'll use the word discipline myself towards chasing after this dream, getting better. Working with this community that we're in, the CMC community is incredible, awesome people in it, are super supportive and share my insights, my lessons, and my failures with that group.
Has allowed me and hopefully the others within it, to fast forward their growth, stay more connected with, you know, this isn't easy and it's not supposed to be, otherwise everyone would be doing it. The only thing we can do is just keep you taking that next step and keep moving forward and growing. And so really the key for me now around freedom is I want to make sure that I'm really staying in line with what I want to accomplish, which means when I have the spurge to go watch Netflix is that
truly what is gonna bring me to my best life? And is that what I want to do? Not really anymore. I, I'm super excited about just my personal growth and not guess falling, you know, whim to my emotions and my desires in the random moments of the day.
Faisal Ensaun: I love that. That's really powerful. Yeah. I really wanna thank you, Alec, for jumping on this call.
and really sharing Your detailed experience of coaching, one of my desire for this project is for people to see, what it tangibly does for people. And really help them understand how, and when they need to make a decision to get support on their path. There are a lot of people who are stuck very similar to
what you were going through. And some me, even worse, like I think your journey was like a, you were consistently on that growth. There are people who are just stuck. They don't know what support looks like. They're trying to find answers within their friends and within their relationships. And, and I've, I can't tell you how many times I've said this to people who are in couple relationships.
So let me guess. You're, you're being their mentor and coach and partner at the same. And almost all, and even business owners, like with their team, they're trying to coach them, be a business owner at the same time. And when I say this, it just catches them off guard. They're like, yeah.
Like what does that feel like? It's like this heaviness. I'm like, I'm supposed to be the partner, not the coach, not the mentor. And that's something I realized too, is like, as I remember like when I was like trying to support my wife in all sorts of different ways like that's not my role.
That's not my role. I'm, it's not my role to support my team members in that way. Yes, there could be conversations, and stuff, but coaching's very different, it takes a lot of bandwidth. It takes a lot of energy. So if you are stuck in any part of your life, in your relationships, in your business, in your career, and your thinking, in your emotions, how you feel about your life and your lack of fulfillment, You know, lack of purpose and direction, vision then coaching is for you.
And, and that's something Alec really clearly helped us see. And I'm really thankful for that. And also I wanna also give people the opportunity to connect with you because you are a coach as well, I want them, like, if they feel aligned with you and your values. book a call with Alex. He's awesome, and he'll be able to support you in ways that maybe I can't support you and I'd be happy for people to do that.
So please where can people find you? Best place
Alec Dilorenzo: right now would probably be finding me on Facebook. So Alec DiLorenzo on Facebook is one of the best places right now.
Faisal Ensaun: Awesome. And I'll put that below, your Facebook stuff. And other than that, just one last question. Would you recommend coaching to others with me?
Alec Dilorenzo: a hundred percent. All right. Without a question.
Faisal Ensaun: And has it been worth the investment for you?
Alec Dilorenzo: Yeah, absolutely. Currently don't have plans of stopping that investment, so yeah, absolutely. There's, I wouldn't say, I would say there's not anywhere I, I haven't seen this, Faisal can't take you, so he believes in ya.
He'll get you to where you're going. I, I strongly believe that, and I'm seeing that come into life every day for myself.
Faisal Ensaun: Thank you. I appreciate that, Alec. Alright, well, for those who are watching this, make sure you like this, you share this video with anybody in your life, whether it's your friends, family members, or anybody you think every time you're in conversation with them, they might be stuck.
I actually, was talking to Cindy, one of my other clients. She was part of this mastermind. They were talking to this one person and one individual there who was stuck in his job and didn't know what to do and they kept trying to help them. And she finally, she's like, you need to talk to Faisal.
And she sent them over, and that was like a few months ago. And, We had one conversation and I didn't even know about this. He never signed up for my coaching moving forward. But he did that one conversation with me. And then Cindy sends me a message. She's like hey, I want to connect you to somebody else cuz when I sent you this individual, I want to share names.
But she's like he quit his job. He gave us two weeks' notice. He's like, you do. Whoa. And he, that's, that's a very normal thing that can happen in coaching because. A lot of people are, they don't know how to make sense of what they're doing, not because they're not intelligent, not because they're very smart guys, but because they just haven't been trained to think that way.
Most of us have been trained to think in a very specific way. We're not leveraging our abilities. And a lot of coaching is helping you discover the other part of you, the deeper parts of you. And I didn't need to tell him to do that. He made a decision himself. And then actually after a few months, he came back and, and it was interesting.
And he just started with us with me and then, the coaching program. I couldn't just say like, I got so much traction from one, call, and he was so busy and he sent me an email later on he is like, I want to come back to this. And he came back and I was following up with him and he just joined the program recently too.
And, and asked him like, well, what, what made you join the program? He's like, one session, help me do all of that. And I can't help but feel like what would happen if I joined more if I had sessions? That's awesome. It usually attracts people to coaching, is because they get a lot of value, not just information, but things that will help them move forward in any part of their life.
I want you to connect with the kind of coach that feels aligned with you, whether that's me or Alec, or some other coach, please connect with them because this is more about your growth, your path forward, and the people that you're impacting in yours.
Until, my next conversation, hope you have an incredible day bye.
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