Why Productivity in Real Estate Isn't Just About Time—It's About Energy

In multifamily investing, most conversations revolve around deal flow, underwriting, raising capital, and scaling portfolios.

But there's one asset that often gets ignored—even though it impacts every decision you make:

Your energy.

The reality is that many real estate investors aren't operating anywhere near their full capacity. They're working harder, adding more tools, and trying to optimize schedules, while completely overlooking the invisible factors that are draining their energy every day.

And when your energy drops, everything suffers:

• Your ability to spot opportunities.

• Your relationships with investors.

• Your decision-making during acquisitions.

• Your leadership with your team.

• Your presence with your family.

The good news?

You don't necessarily need more energy—you may simply need to stop losing the energy you already have.

Here are five hidden energy drains every multifamily investor should pay attention to.

1. Your Thoughts, Emotions, and Limiting Beliefs

The biggest source of energy loss often comes from within.

Many investors carry:

• Fear around market uncertainty.

• Anxiety about interest rates.

• Guilt over spending too much time away from family.

• Limiting beliefs around money, wealth, or success.

• Constant mental loops about deals that didn't happen.

These thoughts consume emotional bandwidth.

For example, some investors struggle with raising capital—not because they lack experience, but because they subconsciously believe selling or marketing feels "pushy."

Others avoid difficult conversations with partners because they associate conflict with failure.

Ask Yourself:

• Are my thoughts helping me move forward?

• Are my beliefs supporting the business I'm trying to build?

• What mental patterns are costing me energy?

Awareness is the first step toward change.

2. Your Environment Is Either Fueling or Draining You

Your environment affects your performance more than you realize.

For multifamily investors, this includes:

Physical Environment

• A cluttered office.

• Long periods of sitting.

• Poor sleep habits.

• Lack of movement.

Digital Environment

Every app, notification, and social media feed competes for your attention.

Many investors start their mornings with:

• Negative news.

• Endless scrolling.

• Market fear and noise.

Before they've even reviewed a deal, they're already mentally exhausted.

Relationship Environment

The people around you matter.

Surrounding yourself with:

• Growth-minded investors,

• Strong operators,

• Accountability partners,

can dramatically increase your energy and focus.

Sometimes changing your environment is easier than changing your mindset.

3. Unresolved Stress and Emotional Baggage Can Sabotage Performance

Many high achievers are carrying burdens they haven't processed.

These may include:

• Financial hardships from earlier seasons of life.

• Past business failures.

• Partnership breakdowns.

• Family struggles.

• Loss and grief.

Some experiences are major life events.

Others are smaller emotional wounds that accumulated over time.

Regardless of size, unresolved pain consumes energy.

Signs You May Be Carrying Hidden Stress

• You wake up exhausted despite getting enough sleep.

• Small problems trigger disproportionate reactions.

• You struggle to remain present.

• Your patience with family or team members has decreased.

Seeking support through coaching, mentoring, therapy, or community isn't weakness.

It's one of the highest-return investments a leader can make.

4. Lack of Purpose and Clarity Creates Massive Energy Loss

One of the biggest differences between thriving investors and burned-out investors is clarity.

Without clear direction, you spend enormous amounts of energy asking:

• What market should I target?

• Should I raise capital or buy smaller deals?

• Am I building this business for freedom or just creating another job?

Uncertainty creates fatigue.

Purpose creates energy.

When your vision is clear, difficult seasons become easier to navigate because you know why you're pushing forward.

Investors With Strong Purpose Tend To:

• Handle setbacks better.

• Stay resilient during market cycles.

• Make decisions faster.

• Maintain momentum during uncertainty.

Clarity isn't a luxury—it's an energy multiplier.

5. Your Relationships Affect Your Business More Than You Think

Many investors assume their biggest challenges are financial.

In reality, business problems often trace back to relationship problems.

Energy leaks can come from:

• Conflict with a spouse.

• Misaligned business partners.

• Difficult clients.

• Team members who create friction.

• Lack of communication.

When your closest relationships are strained, that emotional weight follows you everywhere.

It affects:

• Deal analysis.

• Investor conversations.

• Leadership.

• Focus.

• Creativity.

Conversely, healthy relationships become a source of strength and resilience.

Research consistently shows that strong community and meaningful connections contribute not only to happiness but also to longevity and overall well-being.

Why Energy Is the Ultimate Competitive Advantage

Every multifamily investor has the same 24 hours.

So why do some people consistently accomplish more?

The answer isn't necessarily better time management.

It's better energy management.

High-performing investors understand that:

• Physical energy matters.

• Mental energy matters.

• Emotional energy matters.

• Spiritual energy matters.

• Relational energy matters.

The goal isn't simply to add more productivity tools.

The goal is to remove the hidden drains that are preventing you from operating at your highest level.

A Simple Challenge for Real Estate Investors

For the next seven days, keep a simple journal.

At the end of each day, ask:

What energized me today?

And:

What drained me today?

Patterns will begin to emerge.

You may discover that the greatest opportunity for growth in your multifamily business isn't another acquisition.

It might be reclaiming the energy you've been unknowingly losing all along.

Final Thoughts

In multifamily investing, your portfolio is important.

But the person managing that portfolio matters even more.

Because ultimately, your business can only grow to the level your energy can sustain.

Productivity isn't just about time. It's about energy.

TRANSCRIPT

0:18
other things. I know how much energy it
0:20
takes. My my challenge to everybody is
0:22
notice pay closer attention to these
0:24
categories that we talked about in your
0:26
life this whole week. you will notice
0:28
even more detail. And part of the reason
0:30
why why I give you guys a week to kind
0:32
of work through it is to notice in your
0:34
day-to-day life what's kind of take a
0:36
tally of what's draining your energy.
0:38
That's why I always say productivity is
0:39
not just about time. It's about energy
0:41
management. Notice what's draining your
0:43
energy throughout the day and you'll be
0:45
able to have a have much better
0:47
solutions. You'll notice areas that you
0:49
haven't even noticed because you might
0:50
be in your head and you haven't paid
0:52
attention. Um and even though you have
0:55
made improvements, you can you can take
0:56
it to a whole other level. Thank you for
0:58
joining us here for this video. We've
1:00
noticed that there are certain
1:02
percentage or a high percentage of our
1:04
audience haven't uh subscribe to our
1:06
channel. If you can please click on the
1:08
button to subscribe the channel uh to
1:10
the channel. It will help us create more
1:12
content. It will help us which will help
1:14
us reach more amazing people like you to
1:17
support them, serve them. So, please
1:19
click on the subscribe uh uh button uh
1:22
and I'll see you on the next video.
1:24
Thank you. Bye. Uh this I think will
1:27
apply to everybody here because um I
1:30
mean generally speaking this year has
1:32
been a challenging year pretty much
1:34
every business that I've come across.
1:36
Some are doing better, some are doing
1:38
worse. And it also has a trickle effect
1:41
on people because it trickles into our
1:43
thoughts, our emotions, our
1:45
relationships and and it starts to
1:48
affect everything and and because it's
1:50
happening at a w larger scale in the
1:52
whole economy, that doesn't mean every
1:53
business is doing bad, but every
1:55
business has had to pivot for multiple
1:58
reasons. And and people don't realize
2:00
the effect of it in people's personal
2:02
lives. Because if you look at the stats
2:05
as to what's going on, lots of people
2:06
are losing their jobs. Lots of people
2:08
businesses are uh doing cutbacks. I'm
2:11
working with multiple organization.
2:12
Almost all of them are doing cutbacks
2:15
because just the the economy is that
2:16
way. And what so what does that mean?
2:19
That means that affects buying power.
2:21
People are holding on to their money.
2:23
They're investing more carefully or
2:25
they're spending more carefully. That
2:27
doesn't mean people are not spending,
2:29
but businesses have had to piv pivot. On
2:31
top of that, add to that the the AI
2:33
revolution that's going I don't know how
2:35
much you guys are paying attention to
2:36
it, but it is a serious real thing that
2:39
businesses that are aware of it, they're
2:41
paying very close attention to it.
2:43
They've had to make lots of pivots and
2:45
at least they're thinking about it. On
2:46
top of that, geopolitical challenges
2:49
like tariffs and all kinds of stuff. It
2:51
really puts all kinds of pressure on
2:53
people and not just in the bigger
2:55
economy, but but in people's day-to-day
2:58
lives. And so, and I know this because I
3:00
I get to hear people's thoughts
3:02
consistently in groups and one-on-one
3:04
calls, and you see the real effect of
3:06
it. So, what I want to talk about today
3:09
is we've in the this week is a week
3:12
we're going to be focused on our energy
3:14
and energy is everything. And I've
3:16
shared that in the email that it's our
3:18
biggest our biggest
3:21
asset.
3:22
And one of our biggest assets is our
3:25
energy, our physical, mental, emotional,
3:28
spiritual energy. And I won't go too
3:30
deep into it because we're going to
3:31
cover that on Thursday. But what I do
3:34
want to go into is the dark side of
3:38
energy.
3:40
Some of you might have celebrated or or
3:42
at least participated in the Halloween.
3:44
So, we'll talk about the dark side. What
3:46
is the dark side of energy? And what I
3:48
put underneath it is what actually
3:51
drains you your energy. And most mo a
3:55
lot of people from a even common sense
3:57
perspective were aware that there are
4:00
certain things we can do that improve
4:01
our energy. Like for example, exercising
4:04
or eating better or being a little bit
4:07
more positive or having a better
4:10
environment or exposing ourselves to
4:12
good good things around us. Whatever the
4:15
like those are kind of common sense
4:17
things that people miss and it doesn't
4:20
mean it's in common practice but people
4:21
generally know what affects their the
4:25
what they could do to improve their
4:27
energy. Now there are lots of other
4:28
things you can do that are more complex
4:30
and and and all sorts of things. But the
4:33
thing that I don't feel like people pay
4:35
enough attention to is what really
4:36
drains their energy. My claim is that
4:39
most people that I've met, even high
4:40
achievers and high performers, they're
4:42
operating at about 30% capacity. Of
4:46
course, it's a guess that I'm making,
4:48
but I can usually get 30% sometimes
The Dark Side of Energy: What's Really Draining You
4:52
lower of their capacity, which means
4:54
that
4:56
their energy is being drained by a bunch
4:58
of things that they're not even aware
5:00
of. And it sound it might sound shocking
5:02
or maybe it doesn't but but usually when
5:05
I go through a discovery process with
5:06
them one-on-one or in group or as they
5:08
become aware of it they start to realize
5:11
they actually have a lot of energy that
5:13
is being taken up by all kinds of stuff
5:15
that they haven't paid attention to. And
5:17
that's what I want to focus this call on
5:19
is where is your energy trapped that you
5:23
can actually pull instead of just
5:24
improving energy but you can actually
5:26
see where it's getting trapped in.
5:29
Because if you can if you can improve
5:31
that by even 10%, 20%. You don't have to
5:34
create new energy. You just do the your
5:36
regular thing now you have a whole
5:38
reserve that was at your disposal and
5:40
you couldn't you weren't accessing that.
5:42
This applies to all kinds of stuff your
5:44
effectiveness for example. People have
5:45
the same amount of time. We all have 16
5:47
17 hours in our day. Why is it that one
5:49
person can get 10 times more done than
5:52
another person? That is usually
5:53
explained by energy and by their mental
5:56
focus by their emotional energy. how
5:58
resilient they are, by their ability to
6:01
to be their purpose to be aligned. They
6:04
have a deeper spiritual energy usually
6:07
by their physical energy. They have the
6:09
energy drive themselves. All kinds of
6:10
stuff like that. And then even in their
6:13
connections, they're able to connect
6:14
with the people around them because they
6:15
have the energy to connect. How many
6:17
times have you gotten home and you can't
6:20
be present to save your life? your mind
6:22
is stuck in and thoughts are going in
6:24
loops because you don't even have energy
6:26
to direct your mind to be present with
6:28
those that matter. You'll just sit there
6:29
drained.
6:31
How many times you have gone on vacation
6:33
when when you've been there? It's hard
6:35
for you to turn off your mind on a lot
6:37
of things. Not because you don't have
6:39
the right tools. A lot of people
6:41
attribute that to tools. And yes, you
6:43
can get better tools, but you don't even
6:45
know. You don't even have the energy to
6:47
direct your mind and actually just be
6:48
there with people. I I the reason and
6:51
and and I walk people through all kinds
6:53
of processes especially meditations,
6:55
visualizations, those kind of things.
6:56
Usually the the the first time somebody
7:00
goes through that or if they have don't
7:02
have any practice or any regular
7:04
practice they can't even direct their
7:05
mind in there and they the reason why
7:06
they cannot do it is because their
7:08
energy is being taken up by other things
7:10
like their thoughts, emotions, all kinds
7:12
of stuff. They're not even aware of it.
7:13
Usually they become aware I couldn't
7:15
even pay attention. My mind was all over
7:18
the place.
7:20
That's usually a sign that something is
7:21
off. So the first one I want to talk
7:23
about a little bit and we'll go into a
7:24
general and then we'll get more more
7:26
specific here. First one is your what
7:29
drains you most is your own thoughts,
7:31
emotions and beliefs. Now cover I went
7:35
in a direction but I won't go too much
7:37
into it but the first one is your em
7:39
thoughts, emotions and beliefs that
7:41
drain you. And
7:45
no that was the other card here. this
7:46
one thoughts, emotions and beliefs that
7:48
drain you and I'll break it down further
7:52
as to which part of your emotions and
7:54
thoughts in the later uh card but
7:56
generally speaking and this is this is
7:58
good news and bad news. The good news is
8:00
that you have a lot of control uh you
8:03
have a you have the most amount of
8:05
control over your own thoughts, emotions
8:07
and beliefs. This is the part where you
8:10
can work on regardless of what other
8:11
people do. So you have if if this is not
8:14
working, you can actually actively
8:16
change this. Not saying it's easy, but
8:18
you can actively change it. But the
8:20
downside is that people have accumulated
8:22
all kinds of beliefs and all kinds of
8:25
thoughts that run through their mind.
8:27
All kinds of emotions that they feel
8:28
they feel like, oh, it just comes. They
8:30
have no control over it. which is I
8:32
would say the first myth to dispel is
8:34
that you don't have control over what
8:36
thoughts you think on a consistent
8:38
basis, what emotions you feel on a
8:39
consistent basis and what beliefs you
8:41
carry. This is and and this is an
8:44
ongoing process that you can keep
8:45
refining. And for most people, what
8:48
drains them is when they're the thoughts
8:50
are going through their head over and
8:51
over about the things either they're
8:53
afraid of or the things that they feel
8:55
the thoughts around what they felt
8:57
guilty about. So their emotions
8:59
connected to it or the what they felt
9:01
shame around or what they don't like in
9:03
an environment or their focuses on what
9:05
they couldn't get done. Those thoughts
9:08
repeat in our mind over and what does
9:09
that do that drains energy out of our
9:11
system. Beliefs there are beliefs that
9:14
we used to have that were great but they
9:16
don't serve us anymore. Beliefs such as
9:19
for example when I started out uh my
9:20
business I actually didn't like
9:22
capitalism for example. I hated
9:24
capitalism and I struggled the first two
9:26
years and I didn't realize I had a
9:27
problem with capitalism, with marketing,
9:29
with sales, all of it. And here I was
9:31
building a business. I had spent years
9:34
trying to to kind of cornered myself
9:36
into the belief system that capitalism
9:38
was evil. But that was actually hurting
9:42
me and quite a bit. And I'm I'm not
9:46
regretting the fact that I figure like
9:48
that also gave me a bigger awareness
9:49
that there are aspects of capital
9:51
capitalism that affect people negatively
9:54
of organizations, corporations or or
9:57
systems that are in place that are not
Energy Drain #1: Thoughts, Emotions & Limiting Beliefs
9:58
serving people. But then I had painted
10:00
this big brush that capitalism was
10:03
negative but it was but in the meantime
10:05
I was building a business. It was really
10:06
affecting my sales process. It was
10:08
affecting because I had so much
10:10
resistance to offer things to people. I
10:12
had so much resistance on price points.
10:14
I had so much all of it because I had
10:16
some beliefs that I were I was carrying
10:19
that I had built and and that that that
10:22
helped me out until until some one of my
10:26
coaches confronted me on this like what
10:28
is it? Why do you have so much
10:29
resistance in this area? I didn't even
10:31
know why until I started exploring it.
10:33
Uh so and and that's just one example.
10:35
Beliefs could be in your personal life.
10:37
For example, you might think in your
10:39
relationships that conflict is a
10:41
negative thing. And every time you
10:43
there's conflict in your relationships,
10:45
you get more drained. Not necessarily
10:47
just because of the conflict. Conflict
10:49
can be draining, but it's the belief you
10:51
have that something has gone wrong. I
10:53
actually have that too for a long time.
10:56
And I know a lot of people who have that
10:58
where they're so scared of conflict
10:59
because that that signals to their mind
11:01
that something has gone wrong because
11:02
they've come from a background where
11:03
conflict was never resolved. And so the
11:07
belief drains them more than the
11:09
conflict itself because they're avoiding
11:11
it. They're afraid of it. And and so
11:14
thoughts, emotions, beliefs, you can
11:16
actually analyze them, explore them, and
11:18
break them down and rebuild new beliefs
11:21
if you really wanted to. If but you the
11:23
main question to ask yourself, are my
11:26
thoughts, are my emotions, are my
11:28
beliefs serving me in this moment? Or
11:31
let's say you're going through
11:32
something. If you pause for a minute and
11:34
you say like these are things that I'm
11:35
thinking are these serving me. If you
11:37
can just answer in the moment become
11:39
aware that this is serving me or not. If
11:41
you say or not then you can actually
11:43
start the process of okay what will
11:45
serve me.
11:47
What emotions will you can actually
11:49
generate those? We'll go much deeper
11:51
into that in in our group session but
11:53
this is the most powerful area that you
11:55
can take charge of is your own thoughts,
11:57
emotions and beliefs.
12:00
The next one, and this is your internal
12:02
environment, by the way. This is your
12:04
internal environment that you have
12:06
access to only. Nobody else has access
12:09
to. Other people can trigger events
12:11
within your internal environment, but
12:13
they don't have access to it. Only you
12:15
have access to that. The second one is
12:18
we know the most is your external
12:21
environment.
12:22
and and I'm widely talking about these
12:24
external environment or is how you set
12:27
up like for example how long are you
12:28
sitting your activity level people
12:30
around you the lighting in the room the
12:33
how organized you are how cluttered
12:34
things are the food that you like
12:36
anything that comes into your system
12:39
from external environment
12:41
all those things either drain you or
12:45
energize you or they do a mix of the two
12:49
and people pay very little attention to
12:52
your environment. By the way, a simple
12:54
hack here is it's a lot easier to change
12:57
your external environment than to change
12:59
your internal environment. So, you might
13:02
have noticed like if you go on vacation,
13:03
all of a sudden a lot of the thoughts
13:05
you have, emotions you have, you don't
13:06
have them anymore in that one week, two
13:09
weeks because you completely changed the
13:10
environment. If you move to a different
13:12
place, all of a sudden things feel
13:14
renewed. A lot of things will come
13:16
follow. But if you change the
13:17
environment, then things change. If you
13:20
have a new set of friends that are more
13:22
positive, more optimistic, or set a new
13:25
new set of people that you're around,
13:27
that completely changes your thought
13:28
process and emotions. So, it's a lot
13:30
easier to change an external environment
13:32
than your internal willpower or how you
13:35
process thoughts and emotions and those
13:37
kind of things. And a lot of people
13:38
underestimate that. So, you might you
13:41
might say that, you know what, I'm going
13:42
to move
13:44
temporarily. That's going to give me a
13:45
boost so I can work on my internal
13:48
environment.
13:50
This is why it's easier to, for example,
13:52
sometimes focus better when you go to a
13:55
coffee shop than it is in your own
13:56
environment because you have to actually
13:58
your thoughts are triggered by the
13:59
physical environment you're in, the
14:01
people that you're around. [snorts] So
14:03
pay very close attention to your
14:05
external environment
14:08
and what you feed into it. So for
14:10
example, and it's interesting whenever
14:11
I'm doing a training, I'm the one who's
14:13
struggling related to this training the
14:15
most and I'm like, how do I frame this?
14:17
I'm struggling the most about this
14:18
[laughter]
14:19
this moment. So today I wasn't feeling
14:21
well. I'm dealing with with a major
14:22
conflict in in one of my relationships
14:25
and I can feel the drain. I'm operating
14:27
at like 10% of my capacity and I and I
14:30
feel this whole year has been really I
Energy Drain #2: Your External Environment & Mind Inputs
14:32
was sharing that in one of my calls.
14:33
This whole year has been challenging for
14:35
many reasons. One was that we lost one
14:37
of the closest people to to me in in my
14:39
life and I've been dealing with grief.
14:43
So just off the bat, 50% of my energy is
14:46
just dealing with grief. And I can feel
14:48
that every day.
14:51
Every day. And my sleep has been
14:52
interrupted multiple times pretty much
14:54
every week. The way I wake up, I have to
14:57
work through that. And throughout
14:59
multiple random triggers that happen
15:01
throughout the day, it's happened the
15:03
whole year. And then on top of that, one
15:05
other thing on top of that, now that
15:06
goes from 50% drain to 60 70. I've had
15:09
to give myself a lot of grace and work
15:11
through that. But if I'm not aware of
15:13
it, I'll be like, well, what's wrong
15:14
with me? Why can't I operate here? But I
15:18
and for example, today was not a good
15:20
day. So the reason even though the there
15:24
are a lot of things that are not in my
15:25
control, the one thing that was in my
15:26
control was what inputs in my body. So
15:30
uh one of the first things I did I
15:31
haven't had food. You might think that
15:33
food helps you gain energy, but I I have
15:36
food in my system. Human beings can be
15:38
survive for a long time. I just had
15:40
water and tea today. my focus like if I
15:43
eat food, part of my energy goes to
15:45
digestion.
15:47
So, I chose to fast today. It's given me
15:49
a lot of clarity. It's given me some
15:51
energy that I need to work through and
15:54
and I often fast. I do intermittent
15:55
fasting, but I did a longer fast today
15:57
just because I was aware I'm not going
15:59
to function well. But that was a choice
16:01
I could make. And that and it's a subtle
16:04
point, but it's a like if I had a big
16:06
meal and I was going through this, I
16:07
would be very drained. But that was one
16:10
tweak that helped me with my energy
16:11
throughout the day. And Mondays are one
16:12
of my busiest days.
16:15
Just like there's food input that I
16:18
talked about,
16:20
there is I don't know if you can see
16:21
this, but mind input. What you feed your
16:23
mind matters a lot. And what we feed our
16:27
mind is connected to our attention. What
16:30
drains our energy a lot is the are the
16:32
things that we go every app on your
16:35
phone, everything that you get exposed
16:36
to on your phone is designed to drain
16:39
your attentional energy. And every time
16:42
you go through something, none of it is
16:44
harmless. Now, I'm not saying don't be
16:46
on your phone, don't go through social
16:48
media. I do that. I I have a fairly
16:50
curated social media around personal
16:51
development, history, and those kind of
16:53
things. So, I'll go through it. [gasps]
16:55
But I know that it takes up my energy.
16:57
So, I need to design for it. So, if I go
17:00
30 minutes, what am I looking at? If if
17:02
it's funny clips, great. That energizes
17:04
me a little bit. If it's some
17:06
information that I need around AI,
17:07
history, mythology, whatever things I'm
17:09
interested in, I'll do it. But I give
17:11
myself a certain amount of time, let's
17:12
say 30 minutes, 40 minutes. And
17:14
interestingly, because I was going
17:15
through a lot today, I found myself more
17:17
on my phone. I had to force myself to
17:19
get out because my emotions, and I'll
17:21
speak to why that happens. My emotions
17:23
were pulling me to go through something
17:24
to distract my mind. I found myself more
17:27
and more in my phone. But if I'm not
17:29
paying attention, that attentiongrabbing
17:31
app that's designed to grab my attention
17:33
drains my willpower, my ability to
17:36
focus, my ability to make better
17:37
decisions.
17:39
So none of it is harmless. You decide
17:42
where your attention goes, but there are
17:44
so almost everything is planned and and
17:49
researched in a way where everybody's
17:51
trying to grab your attention, including
17:53
me, by the way. So, so you decide
17:55
whether you're it's worth it for me to
17:57
gain your attention. Are you gaining
17:58
something in the process? So, assess
18:00
that for yourself. So, your mind input
18:03
is important. What are you giving your
18:04
mind? If it's if the inputs are random
18:06
social media, random information that
18:09
doesn't help you, news that emotionally
18:11
trigger you multiple times that is
18:13
negative and that's first thing in the
18:14
morning or a bunch of people around you
18:16
that are negative and you expose that's
18:18
the first thing you expose yourself to.
18:21
You you're drained already. So you're
18:23
already working with the deficit energy
18:25
from the morning versus doing some of
18:27
those things later or slowly eliminate
18:29
eliminating some of those things.
18:33
I want to come back to the thoughts,
18:36
emotions and um and beliefs. And one of
18:38
those things is trauma.
18:41
Uh we most people don't realize how much
18:43
their trauma affects them. One trauma is
18:46
sort of like a short-term trauma like
18:48
death in the family. That's a major
18:50
trauma that happens now and it affects
18:52
us and has affected me the whole year.
18:54
But what I'm talking about is and there
18:56
are two types of traumas. It was
18:58
categorized by Dr. Gabbor Mate that said
19:00
there's the
19:02
uh big T trauma and small T trauma. Big
19:05
T trauma are like major things like
19:07
abuse that you might have gone through,
19:09
maybe parents separating, maybe major
19:12
financial and health issues growing up
19:15
or lots of conflict in in in your
19:18
household or survival situations. Um,
19:22
those are p big examples of big tea
19:24
traumas. There are quite a few people
19:26
that have them. Not everybody, but quite
19:28
a few people. Then there's a small ty
19:30
trauma or little things that add up and
19:33
pretty much everybody has it. 99% of the
19:36
people around you will have that
19:37
including you and those are things like
19:40
you might not not gotten the acceptance
19:42
or presence from your parents growing
19:45
up. You might have not gotten the
19:46
acknowledgement or a listening ear or
19:49
support. Uh growing up you might have
19:52
not had the support to process your
19:53
emotions.
19:55
You might have not had the support to
19:57
understand how to work through some
19:58
challenging situation like bullying at
20:01
school or something like that. You might
20:03
have been anxious as a kid and didn't
20:05
know how to adapt to different
20:06
environments and that kind of built up
20:09
to a specific uh small t trauma thought
20:12
and emotional process. Now if those
20:14
things don't get resolved and the way
20:16
our system works is actually fairly
20:17
intelligent. If you're a child, it
20:20
actually what it does is it if if your
20:23
system sees that a trauma is affecting
20:25
you, it diver it it actually
20:28
compartmentalizes it because you your
20:30
mind doesn't understand and doesn't have
20:32
a big enough perspective to make sense
20:33
of it. It compartmentalizes it which
20:35
means that it puts it in pockets so
20:37
other human beings aka adults in your
20:40
community come and help you at some
20:42
point. And the reason why the human
20:44
system does that is so you become
20:45
functional. So you can actually
20:47
function. in day to day otherwise your
20:48
mind can shut down. you get get
20:50
overloaded easily and the extreme
20:52
versions of it in big T trauma we see
20:54
that people can stop functioning they
20:56
get depressed they they get affected by
20:58
all kinds of stuff but with small tea
Energy Drain #3: Unresolved Trauma (Big T vs Small T)
21:01
traumas your system compartmentaliz them
21:03
until somebody comes around and helps
21:05
you release that that could be a family
21:07
member parent teacher friend whoever
21:09
that might be but unfortunately that
21:11
doesn't happen for everybody we carry
21:13
those the accumulation of those small t
21:15
traumas to our life right now and we've
21:18
never worked through them. And so those
21:21
those compartmentalized pockets, think
21:23
of them as they're constantly taking up
21:25
energy from your system. And that could
21:27
be like 20 30%. What is the solution to
21:30
that? Become aware when you feel
21:31
drained. When you wake up in the
21:33
morning, do you feel something
21:36
unnecessarily? You're feeling drained.
21:38
You've gone rest, you have your sleep,
21:40
you have all kinds of stuff, but you
21:41
feel drained for some reason. You're
21:42
emotionally exhausted. You don't have
21:44
the patience with others. uh you are
21:47
quick to react to things. Those are
21:49
usually signs that something's off.
21:52
Solutions, awareness. Second is maybe
21:55
intervention. That could be a coach, a
21:57
therapist, a group that can support you
22:00
to help process some of those things.
22:02
Even if you're an adult, that might be
22:03
with you. Like this is one of the like
22:06
like lowhanging fruits of your energy uh
22:09
opening up. And for me, I've had big T
22:11
trauma and small T traumas. And I've
22:13
worked through and I'm still working
22:14
through a lot of the big tea traumas
22:16
around abuse and so many other things. I
22:18
know how much energy it takes. I I know
22:20
that I don't even on the best of days I
22:23
operate at about 80 70% of my capacity
22:26
because that part is but I've worked
22:27
through that. It used to be like I
22:29
couldn't even operate at 30%. Uh because
22:32
I hadn't worked through a lot of those
22:34
things. Lack of purpose and direction.
22:37
This is the thing that can actually
22:38
while you're healing through your
22:40
traumas and working through your
22:41
thoughts and emotions, your lack of your
22:43
sense of purpose and direction, clarity
22:45
on your vision, goals, sense of purpose,
22:48
your spiritual energy, all that stuff is
22:50
connected that even though you might
22:52
have trauma, it actually helps you move
22:54
forward. It gives you more energy to
22:57
deal with that. This is why people who
22:59
tend to have a better purpose, they can
23:00
deal with pain better. They can be much
23:02
more resilient. Sometimes that purpose
23:04
comes from their sense of faith.
23:06
sometimes their their their role as
23:08
somebody who's a provider for their
23:10
family or for their community or they're
23:12
part of a cause which gives them a sense
23:15
of purpose so they can deal with a lot
23:16
of pain internally. They can override it
23:19
and they can build create more energy in
23:20
the process. So if you have a lack of
23:22
purpose and direction that actually
23:23
drains your energy.
23:26
it goes the opposite direction. On top
23:28
of all the trauma, on top of the inputs,
23:30
on top of the thoughts, emotions,
23:31
beliefs, on top of all kinds of other
23:34
things that drains the hell out of you.
23:36
And I would say quite a bit, I'd say 30,
23:38
40% of people's energies taking up
23:41
because they don't have clarity. They
23:42
don't have a sense of purpose. They
23:43
don't have direction on a day-to-day
23:45
basis. They're always trying to figure
23:46
out what to do. This is why we work a
23:49
lot in this community related to that.
23:51
We have a few more minutes, about 12
23:53
more minutes. I'm going to cover this in
23:54
2 minutes. The next one is probably the
23:56
biggest one, one of the last ones
23:58
because a lot of our stuff is wrapped
24:00
into that. And that's people,
24:03
the people, your closest relationships.
24:07
And most people completely underestimate
24:09
that. And I've seen this over and over.
24:10
Every time somebody comes to me about a
24:12
business problem, I can almost always
24:14
track it back to a personal relationship
24:16
with problem with their spouse, with
24:18
their kids, with their business
24:19
partners, with their family. a lot of
24:23
their energy is trapped in those areas.
24:26
Not because the people around them are
24:27
not good or supportive, but they don't
24:30
know how to deal with those
24:31
relationships. And I told you today, I
24:33
don't have a lot of energy because I'm
24:35
dealing with a conflict.
24:37
At the least, I know how to approach it.
24:39
I'm working through it. In the past, I
24:41
didn't even know how to approach it. And
24:43
it would just stay with me that energy
24:45
for years, months, and years.
24:48
So, if you have somebody that you feel
24:50
that is unsupportive in your life and
24:51
that's the closest person to you or some
24:53
of the closest people, they don't
24:55
understand you, they don't support you,
24:57
they don't uh hear you, I can almost
24:59
guarantee that that takes up more of
25:01
your energy than almost anything else.
Energy Drain #4: Lack of Purpose & Direction
25:04
And because your thoughts, emotions,
25:06
your sense of direction is all tied to
25:07
these people, the people that you're
25:09
building your life with. Those could be
25:11
your closest people, your internal
25:13
family, your friends, your business
25:15
partners, collaborators.
25:18
I know people who who get drained
25:20
because of clients. You don't realize
25:22
how much time you spend with your
25:23
clients. And if your clients are
25:25
draining, that actually affects your
25:27
other relationships and your own
25:28
emotional state constantly. So, pick
25:31
wisely the business you go into, the
25:33
work you're in. Pick the right culture
25:35
to work with if you're working for a
25:37
company.
25:39
And if you are in the wrong culture,
25:40
find better ways to get out. By the way,
25:42
almost every longevity study points to
25:45
the fact that uh people's uh length of
25:48
life can be reduced by decades because
25:51
of the wrong relationships in their life
25:54
and that's professional and personal.
25:57
Every longevity study people studies
25:59
cent center c center centinarians around
26:02
the world people who have lived 100 plus
26:03
years. A lot of times their focus is
26:05
food and and diet and environment. But
26:09
the biggest factor when you look at it
26:11
is actually their sense of community and
26:12
and and connection with all the people
26:14
around them. That helps them with
26:16
healing that helps them with longevity
26:18
that helps them with inflammation and
26:19
all kinds of stuff. Plus the food
26:21
environment all the other things. So
26:23
your relationships play a huge role in
26:26
your energy, how you focus, how you
26:28
connect, your health, longevity, all of
Energy Drain #5: The People Around You
26:31
it. And if those you're not working on
26:34
those, you're not tapping into an air of
26:36
energy that might be draining you quite
26:38
a bit. My my challenge to everybody is
26:40
notice pay closer attention to these
26:43
categories that we talked about in your
26:44
life this whole week. You will notice
26:47
even more detail. And part of the reason
26:49
why why I give you guys a week to kind
26:50
of work through it is to notice in your
26:52
day-to-day life what's kind of take a
26:54
tally of what's draining your energy.
26:56
That's why I always say productivity is
26:57
not just about time, it's about energy
26:59
management. Notice what's draining your
27:01
energy throughout the day and you'll be
27:03
able to have a have much better
27:05
solutions. You'll notice areas that you
27:07
haven't even noticed because you might
27:08
be in your head and you haven't paid
27:10
attention. Um, and even though you have
27:13
made improvements, you can you can take
27:14
it to a whole other level. Pay closer
27:17
and you can even journal on this. Okay,
27:18
this today these are things that drain
27:21
me. Uh, and then on Thursday, we're
27:22
going to go much deeper into what's
27:24
going on with your energy, how we can
27:25
improve in different areas, and we can
27:27
work through that together, and what
27:29
we've learned throughout the process.
27:30
Thank you all for being here, and we'll
27:32
see you soon. Thanks.