How Fear Determines Peoples Actions

vinki loomba Feb 28, 2023

Vinki: This is a Real Estate Vibe show, and I'm your host, Vinky Loomba. Today my special guest is my good friend, Faisal Ensaun, and this is our second recording together. Faisal is a certified high-performance coach since 2015. He's also the co-author of Coaching Mastery Community, where he helps teach other coaches to hone and further dwell on their coaching abilities and their business practice.

Faisal has coached over 2000 individuals with diverse backgrounds. He runs a space creator's community where he holds weekly high-performance and personal development sessions in a small group setting. He guides and teaches people to create the space for their potential vision and inner self to surface.

Today we'll discuss how fear determines people's actions. Last week was about how to tap into your high potential. So we thought this is a relevant topic to cover in this session. Welcome, Faisal. I'm super excited to have you back with me today. 

Faisal: Excited to be here. So, so excited for our conversation. 

Vinki: Thank you.

So I would like to discuss with you, today's economy and the times that we are in today. People are so fearful, you know, it's a fear of, I will say, more like a survival fear. And I have also heard this quote from Warren Buffet, like he says, when people are fearful, get greedy. So let's talk about that, you know, what is your thought process there? With all the fear in the economy, how can one use that for benefit? 

Faisal: I love that quote. Not that I like being greedy, I look at that, but I know there's some humor in there when Warren Buffet talks about it. And I think fear itself is a very interesting condition. And I think the world that we're in right now with the way that the economy is.

It's normal to have a certain amount of fear. Because when things are not going up and people notice it, then people pause. Like in the real estate world, a lot of people are noticing that realtors are struggling. Real estate investors who are trying to raise capital. They are seeing a slow in a sense, hesitation towards kind of investments.

 And I talked to them on a consistent basis. So I'm getting a lot of direct feedback. This morning. I talked to a real estate investor whose focus was capital raising, and I can share a letter what, what his thoughts were. But essentially when fear comes in, now the question is, the problem is not fear, the problem is how you respond to the fear. Because you will see a variation of it. There are people who will get when they feel fear, they will just look for validation outside of themselves. So what do we normally do? When we have something going on in the economy where there's a market crash is happening or recession is happening, whatever is happening, what do we do?

We go sit around a bunch of people and we talk about it. And who do we talk to? Usually, it's people who are like us, who are in our own environment. And now this is where the key things happen. So there are two forces here. One is your own internal thought process and how you process your emotions.

You're an inner world and the other one is your external world. . So if you don't have confidence in your inner world, you're looking for outside validation very quickly. And so you will go, in your environment, you'll go seek what's happening, like gimme some relief because I'm afraid. So you'll go sit around your family and friends.

Now, depending on how they are, they might take you in a couple of directions. So if you don't have internal confidence, you don't have the knowledge, you don't have all that stuff, then you're sitting around assuming that those people are afraid as well. They'll just confirm each other's biases. And if they're afraid, they're like, oh, no, no.

Stay away from investments. Stay away from pretty much everything, and then you get influenced by that. Now, let's suppose it's another scenario, another scenario. Couple of other scenarios will come in. Let's say you're still concerned, there's a lot of fear and all sorts of happening internally, and you haven't actually figured out your thought process around this, but you are around the right people.

You're around people who are actually moving their business forward in times like this, who are making better investments, who are looking at opportunities, you get around those people. You can actually borrow their confidence and knowledge and all sorts of things. That's why a lot of trainers and coaches will say, you're an average of five people around you.

Because as soon as you go around them, often it's like, okay, well these people are doing well. Why can't I do well? What are you doing differently? And you start to get curious. You ask questions, you start to find out like what are they doing differently compared to other people that I know? Why aren't they as afraid?

In fact, why are they excited about this time? Something is off here do they know Something that I don't know? So that actually takes you towards that curiosity. But then now let's, this third variation is even a better situation to be in that if you know how to manage your own emotions if you can think through things, if you can look at patterns, then first of all, assume that's why Warren Buffett's quote makes a lot of sense to me.

When everybody gets afraid, pay attention because most people will go gravitate toward the majority. They will just note they will by reaction, gravitate toward whatever everybody else does. So automatically, whatever opportunities are there, whatever chances are there. And also like when you're looking at the economy and these things, a lot of business owners know this, is that pretty much everything goes on sale.

So if you have cash or you have capital, or if you have an opportunity, if you can take advantage of those opportunities, everything goes on sale from like the business owners who are like really big on baseball cards. They're doubling down on all these, and they go for a lot, like anywhere from, I don't know, a few thousand dollars to millions.

To like antiques to anything. People wanna sell things because they're afraid something is gonna go wrong. I need to have liquidity. So if something goes wrong they're preparing for the worst-case scenario in a sense. So the opportunity is there. Things are going on sale, now who takes advantage of that?

I think if you think of it logically, it's the person or the group of people who are actually stepping back from all this frenzy. . and they're like, okay, what's ha actually happening? Okay, I can be afraid. Let me process this. Let's look at the pattern. And when you look at the economy, the economy goes through its upswing and downswing, and covid and other things might have accelerated things a little bit, but this would've happened.

And there are businesses, and I know them firsthand because I've talked to some of my clients, who have businesses like that. There they have been real, literally preparing for this over a decade. For over a decade. It is like, this is where we make the most amount of our money. They don't look two years out.

They don't look three. They look at decades out. And that's why you will hear a lot of times that this might be the biggest transfer of wealth. You will hear that over and over. You might hear that, oh, you'll find the best opportunities around this point. Now you might hear that you are like, how the hell is that possible?

But it goes down to human behavior and the human mind. It's like when we're afraid most people will reactively do a certain thing, and then there are a few people who, if you're, they're conscious enough, they do different things. So for example, even for me, and I'm not just speaking theoretically from other people, Accounts, I've doubled down on my businesses.

Why? Because I know that this will be the time when a lot of business owners will shrink back. If they're starting their business, they will give up. They're like, this is not the right time. If they have done it for a while, they will stay in their zone. They won't take many risks or they won't go towards other opportunities.

So this is the time when the opportunities are wide open. And I've seen that just, I mean, I was sharing this with you, Vinky before that I've been working towards collaborations, and just a couple weeks ago we had an event. A lot of coaches or trainers might be like, oh, the economy's off. No, the coaching world is exploding because people are afraid.

Vinki: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. 

Yeah, I mean, I have a few questions for you, whatever you shared with me, but I would like to say one thing over here. The right mind always sees that we are at the right time. Yeah. When I say the right mind because the mind that responds not reacts.

So every time is the right time. There is no waiting because if you're waiting, you're gonna keep on waiting all the time. because you're in the wait mode. So you mentioned something very interesting. You said we are always looking for validation. Because our inner core is not strong enough, or we do not have enough confidence.

I'm gonna ask you that as a follow-up question, but for right now, I'm gonna ask you, the question about the validation. Why are people always looking for validation? 

Faisal: Yeah, I think it's human, to be honest. It's not a negative thing per se, but it just depends. So for example, what I mean by validation, in this case, are two, there's thought validation, there's emotion, but mostly it's emotional, I would say.

So I'll give you a simple scenario. So Vinky, have you ever like walked around and somebody has put something somewhere and you've tripped on it or something has happened?

He's like, damn, you, whoever, right, right. So what, and this is Dr. Brene Brown talks about it. These are funny moments that teach us a lot about human beings.  So in that moment, what happens? You have a buildup of energy. Right. Whether it's pain like you stepped on something, you feel pain and your emotions of frustration come out, pain comes out.

It's like, and we wanna discharge. Right? The discharge comes in the form of, damn you. But now think about it, if somebody was paying attention, they would've noticed. If you were present enough, you would've noticed that there's stuff around you, but you're probably in a hurry. Or I'm probably in a hurry and I do a couple of things and I kind of trip over something or something happens.

 It's a buildup of emotion. So when the buildup of emotion happens with most people, and it can be any kind of emotion, we wanna release it. And because we're a social species, we release it into our environment toward other people around us. So we point fingers or we blame, or we say the government, the politicians, the business owners, the wealthy, whoever we can blame.

It's a buildup of fear. It's a buildup of frustration. It's a buildup of anger. We don't know how to process it, so we are looking for an avenue for it. And most of us don't have productive avenues. So for example, some people might go out and work out. That might help in the process. Or they have creative outlets or they actually leverage that energy to do something else, or they just process it simply.

They understand that this is a discomfort that's just gonna move through it. But now a good majority of people, and there's this one spiritual teacher, put it this way that we live in the emotional dark ages, right? and the reason for what she said is that most people are not aware of what's actually happening in their own physiology.

Like there's a biochemical reaction that happens. Your body's trying to talk to you to pay attention, and you feel it as discomfort. So you misinterpret the signal. The signal is that, hey, there's pain, there's discomfort. Pay attention, something is happening. It's like if you were hungry and you panic if you had hunger, you panic and babies do that.

When a baby is just a newborn, they don't know what's happening. So when hunger comes, they will panic. And that's how they communicate too. So they'll cry. Cause you get, as adults, we know that food comes up. As long as we know, generally, everything is fine, we don't panic even though it's the same exact thing. Now we feel it though, right? We get cranky, but we don't panic in the way, for example, a baby does. Cause they dunno this sport yet. So the same thing to our emotions. So when I say validation, we need somebody to tell us that we're okay. The problem is that when you go around other people, nobody's Okay

And so when a bunch of people talk with each other, it's like these people are to blame. That makes it bigger. The energy, the collective energy becomes bigger, and it's now you just created a new mind that's more in pain, a new consciousness that's more in pain. 

Vinki: Yeah, but I wanted to say one thing over here.

Sorry to interrupt you, but it's not a validation. Validation. If you look at the bigger picture, to me it's like, You are confirming it's a confirmation, like another person is doing a similar thing and then maybe his issue is bigger than mine. So that gives you solace. Oh, okay.

That person is dealing with more than me. I'm okay wherever I am. So that's the kind of validation it is. It's not like somebody's giving you a gold medal, okay, you're doing something really good. No, no. it's just never gonna happen. 

Faisal: That's a different kind of validation, but even that's the same thing, that's emotional validation.

Even if somebody gives you a goal, You feel better, right? That engages a different part of your emotions. You feel better. Now, the challenge is that this depends, on how you process your own emotions. how do you deal with them and what kind of people do you interact with that determines the outcome of your behavior?

So like, too, if you don't know how to process your emotions, you're already in a negative. Now you go around other people who don't know how to manage themselves and they have all these thoughts that are connected to those emotions, oh my God, something's gonna go wrong. This is gonna go wrong. I mean, think about the beginning of the pandemic, what happened?

Toilet papers. It's like that was panic. That was all blown panic and out of everything, people go to toilet paper, whatever the case was. It was funny. One of my relatives had actually stored his whole garage. He's like, do you want some I'm like, really! Like, it'll be okay. So we do funny things but this shows up in cycles that are in the economy and people know that, like people who have been through like the upswing and downswing of the economy and their business and investments, they understand this stuff because they know that they need to operate in both the downturn and.

And if they understand that, that means the only way they're gonna have a business, like you said, in whatever the economy is, they need to adjust. They need to pivot, they need to understand how it works. Now if you haven't gone through that process, you'll panic. And if you panic, what do you do?

You start selling a bunch of stuff. You start to react. You start to kind of look for people who don't know what they're doing, and you start to take action based on that. And then we might think that, oh, well that's just how people are, but there are reasons behind it. . we're not taught how to, how to kind of sit with the discomfort and be okay with it.

Just feel discomfort that people are, and some And why Actually, it's interesting when you actually work with investors, and business owners, they actually are very aware of their growth. maybe not fully to, to a lot of 'em, but the ones who are, they know, like they, they're really good at pivoting. Like they will feel the panic, they will feel the thing, but they're like, okay, what do I do?

They leverage the same emotion for a different thing. Okay, I need to adapt. . versus let me hide or let me just react. like automatically they've gone through so many of these ups and downs that they've developed this adaption. . And so this is what happens. And by the way, the same thing happens in our personal life.

As you think of drama that happens in anyone's life, somebody will call or somebody will bring the negative news and before you know it, if you see that everybody's operating at the same wavelength, they will just feed that drama. They'll just keep feeding the same energy, that same negativity, and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

But when you kind of move through the whole thing, you come to the end of it, you're like, this wasn't such a big deal. Why did it look like it was such a big deal? 

Vinki: at that time? Yes. 

Faisal: Yeah. At that time. Right. In retrospect, it never looks like a big deal. But at that time, everybody was feeding the same situation.

Vinki: And you are in the situation. 

Faisal: You're in the situation. And our predicament is, and this is why people say like, who are you around?  what kind of thoughts do you hear? what kinda energy are you around? What kind of people are you around? Makes a big difference. 

Vinki: That's true. I agree with that a hundred percent.

And earlier you're talking about inner confidence. Can you share some light on that? How can somebody develop inner confidence? You know, believing in what you think is right or believing in yourself that the intuitions you're getting are right. You do not need somebody else's validation in order to take action.

 I think it's one of those things that you kind of build on. . , it's an ongoing thing. It's, it's not, it's not like you get to a point where like, I'm fully confident. It's a process where you grow towards the wisdom you develop. But there are certain categories.

So for example, I, I think I put it in two, I've done a couple of training videos around this. Three categories. You can look at confidence. One might be there's this loop we call in psychology. It's just the one many people might be aware of maybe not consciously, but that's what it is called. Competence, confidence loop.

Where in any given space, if you develop competence, you'll naturally develop confidence and that confidence heats the same competence because you want to learn more, because, you get rein feedback from your environment. So for example, this is a very common thing, like you will meet somebody who's really good at what they do.

Like in whatever profession. They could be a doctor or they could be a mechanic or they get, if you just talk them in, in that context, they will be very confident. Now here's the problem though, as soon as they get out of that confident context, you put 'em in a different context. Also, confidence is a sphere.

Because they're not actually confident in themselves. They're confident in the competency in the knowledge.

Faisal: Yeah. The knowledge, the skillset, whatever they've developed. So one of the ways you can develop confidence is actually knowing, and understanding what happens, like studying the economy.

There are a lot of people who don't actually have a lot of confidence in themselves, but they understand the patterns. they're around people who are doing things and part of the reason why I have confidence is because I'm always around business owners now. I get a lot of live feedback. Most of my clients are business owners and investors.

and I see the ups and downs of the whole thing. And I'm a business owner. So and part of it is to develop competence. 

Vinki: Yeah, like I say that all the time, you know, it's a knowledge gap. So when you do not know something and when you do not have enough knowledge about something, you are hesitant.

You're fearful. And then you're not confident enough to take action. And that's what happens in real estate too. You know, when you are going educating the investors and some of the newer investors, it's a whole learning curve for them and for us as well as syndicators or the investor relations to educate them to figure out, you know, what is missing.

In their story where you can add value to mitigate that gap that they're just getting out of the box or they're just breaking that particular limitation that they have in their life. So lemme talk about emotional intelligence. That's the other thing that you talked about here, 

Faisal: Can I just add one more point on confidence?

Vinki: Yeah, please go ahead. 

Faisal: Very important. So the more important confidence is actually a deeper confidence that you can develop, and that's not connected to context or competency per se. . it's more of an internal competency where like, you will hear the statement. A lot of people who are confident, they'll say, is that, well, I believe that I can figure it out, or I believe in my ability that I can do this.

They might not know anything about that specific context, but they have more a confidence in their own inner ability so it's an internal competence that they have and I think that type of confidence is much more powerful because then you don't, and I've seen this in action like somebody will come from a completely different space.

For example, multi-family investors will come from different professions. Most of them will wait until they develop all the competence. They know this thing inside out. They will spend years, months, and years researching this. Right. Which is okay, but then I'll, every now and then, one in a thousand people, maybe somebody will come in, they've literally just heard it on a podcast that there's a way to invest like this.

They'll come in. They will jump in, talk to some very influential people, and they will build connections and relationships. And before you know it, within six months, they have 300 units. Like it's the most mind-boggling thing. They had, virtually very little, they just found out about this thing, but they had more confidence in themselves.

That can take you much farther. And that kind of confidence actually develops when you understand your own. And this is why we're coaching and training and personal development come in so that you understand your own emotions, you understand your mind, you understand your own thinking. You don't buy into a lot of the negativity.

You understand how to differentiate when people say certain things. Or whether it's real or not, it's actually happening. You have more of and goes very well into emotional intelligence, is that you have a higher level of emotional intelligence, but wisdom and skill sets in yourself, mostly in how to manage yourself versus in the environment.

That kind of confidence will take you to a lot of places. . . 

Vinki: Because you learn faster too, that way because you believe in yourself because you have the can-do attitude. So it's very important in any situation. So let's talk about the emotional intelligence, you know? Everybody's talking about emotional intelligence these days.

What is your perspective on that and how that helps one to excel in their life or whatever? 

Faisal: Do you know about Gary B? 

Vinki: Yes, I do. 

Faisal: So he was interviewed. It was, I really love this interview was interviewed by Larry King or the late Larry King now, I think. He was asked, he's like, what, what makes you a really powerful business owner?

Is he a very successful person? And out of all the answers he could have given, he's like emotional intelligence. . he's like, I know how people work. I know how to empathize with people. I know how to connect with people. I know how to process my own. I don't just react.  And that was a very powerful statement.

And he even questioned my end like out of all the things that you're saying, do you think that's what it is? He's like, no, I know that's what it is. And then he talks to people constantly. He puts himself in situations that are incredibly uncomfortable.

He has done things. And that's where emotional intelligence comes in, is that, and next to back connects, back to fear is that how much do we understand our own system? Because if we don't understand our physiology, our mind, our consciousness how our thinking and perception work, then we will fall into pretty much anything.

We live in the world of technology. We live in the world of illusions. Anybody can show you a picture, a video, or a documentary. I'll tell you a story that was really funny. One of my family members came in one day and he's really big on health and bodybuilding and there was a documentary on, I think it was on vegan or vegetarian.

It was one I'd watched. I'd watched a bunch of these documentaries. He's like, you know, we shouldn't eat this. We shouldn't eat that. And I know what they do in these documentaries and it's not a statement for vegans or vegetarians or meat eaters, it's just that you are convincing people.

Right, so you present the case. You present evidence. You're only presenting mostly your side. for the most part Right. I gave him a couple of other documentaries, but I didn't say anything. I'm like, just watch these. He goes and watches it. He's like, oh, well I don't know what to believe anymore.

Vinki: That's true, I remember that my dad used to do that. You know, he heard in the news or somewhere eggs are good. So we started eating eggs and he heard, okay, milk is not good. You'll stop drinking milk. And every year or six months, he's changing his diet. Based on that, what other people are saying, like, you know, no, no, no, he shouldn't do that.

He should listen to your body and see what you need. It's like, oh no, no, no, this is wrong. I said, this is all gimmick, you know. Whenever they wanted to increase their sale, they'll come up with some facts, something, and it happens all the time because we've been played all these years, you know, all the time.

because somebody's trying to manipulate the human brain because certain things work a certain way. We are wired, all the conditioning around us and most people react versus responding. And it's very important to understand the difference between the reaction and the response. The reaction is an automated response that's generated in your mind because of your past experiences.

The situation could be different this time but how you're reacting could be a little bit similar to the past. But what's gonna happen is reaction is gonna be the same, but if you take a pause and look at the situation. Then you'll be able to make a decision, you know, whether I should respond to the situation or I let go, or I should respond in a certain way.

Do you agree with that? 

Faisal: Yes. And I love that you brought up how these things, especially when you look at the world of food or more transitory stuff in the sense that in the world that we live in, everybody has an idea for food. And that's why one of the weirdest statements that I've heard from people is when they say, I believe in science I'm like, science is not about belief.

You do know that, right? It’s about experimentation. It's constantly trying to disprove itself. it's constantly evolving.  and as soon as you bring belief into it, then you've misunderstood Science. I've had so many people say well, I don't want to talk to you because I believe in science, because you're saying something outside the scope of science.

I'm like, how do you know? So, Now people take temporary things and they project them all into permanent things. This is where tradition is actually very powerful. Like there are things that human beings have done for a long time. They can be very helpful in kind of pointing us in the right direction.

So when somebody says, don't drink milk. Yes, I get that. There's evidence that's coming out that causes inflammation, but then try to explain to me, how come these cultures have been consuming that and they've been fine all along? And then there are also studies that disprove what you're saying.

 How do you deal with that? people kind of confirm their own biases and, to be honest, a lot of stuff you won't be able to make up your mind about, because, from a research point of view, it's ongoing. it's like every six months there will be a new thing that's gonna come up because it's accelerating.

But we also know certain things based on our traditions. But what I loved about what you said is your body will communicate with you a lot of times. 

Vinki: Exactly. Because everybody's different. It's not a cookie cutter, you know,

Faisal: It's because your body has its own unique structure as well. Even though it's similar to other human beings.

It has its unique way of responding to different situations. For example, sleep. So on average, the sleep statistics are that you need about eight hours on average. And sometimes I cringe and say, well, you should get eight hours of sleep. I'm like, oh, that's a statistical number. It's not for every person. So every human being will have to do their own experimentation as to how their body responds.

For example, if I sleep more than about seven and a half hours on average, I'll be groggy. There are people who need about nine hours of sleep. There are people who can manage very well with six hours of sleep. That will be very unique to your own physiology. and pay attention to that.

So ultimately, this is why awareness is very important. I think it was one writer who said that most people don't think because it actually takes a lot of energy to think. 

Vinki: I agree with that.

Faisal: It's easy to react, right? 

Vinki: Yeah. It's lazy, you know? Okay, I have this automated response, this coming to my mind, I need to spit it out.

So that's what happens most of the time. Yeah. So I'm gonna ask you, I mean, I know we are out of time, but you know, you are a powerhouse of knowledge. I have to ask you this question. You know, in these times I would say the critical times, you know, people always talk about you know, like live your vision or live the life of your vision.

So in these critical times, I would say, how can somebody have the courage to move forward and not worry about the results? You know, as we talked about the economy, it has an upper trend, onward trend, and it's gonna pay off eventually as part of our actions. But how can you have the mindset or the courage to move forward given all the media?

Faisal: I'll tell you I had a conversation with one of my clients the other day, and this guy is one of the most amazing people I know. He left everything, he traveled the world. He made enough to just see so many parts of the world. He was part of so many communities and he came back and he was having a challenger and like, if I do this thing, if I move this thing and commit to this thing, then these are the risks.

He was kind of trying to compute the whole. And then seeing with his relationship, he's like, I don't know if I want to get into this relationship. And I knew what it was. He was just afraid it wasn't a thing. It sounds like he was thinking about it, but he was just afraid. And here's what makes this so ridiculous.

Life is incredibly unpredictable. If you kind of go out of your comfort zone, like if you walk outside, you have no idea what's gonna happen. You generally know like you're gonna go outside. Things will be okay. But try like if you've ever traveled to different parts of the world, you will know that when you go there, a lot of things are unpredictable.

No matter how much planning you've done. A big part of it will be unpredictable. Life is like that. Businesses are like that. There are risks involved. There's unpredictability and uncertainty. In fact, that's what makes it more interesting. This, that's what makes it more challenging, and helps us grow.

 And that's what wisdom is, that you can develop, you can see more patterns. So you're able to kind of anticipate in a sense. But until you have it, there is no way to kind of know ahead of time that this is gonna happen. You can set up all kinds of equations in your head, but you're just like, you're afraid to move forward, right?

So nobody can predict what's gonna happen, but we know, we know certain things and human beings have known this for a long time. That's why we have phrases like, well anything will be risky, but it's those who take the risks that move ahead. Those who take a chance, move ahead. Those who feel fear and they take action, move ahead.

And that's, in fact, one of the most common definitions of courage is that you, courage is not that you don't feel fear. It's that despite the fact that you feel it, you still move ahead. And, and that's actually a very human thing. and the reason for that is that human beings have been taking risks for a long time, like since the beginning of the dawn of our species.

Think about people going on a voyage when we thought that the world was flat and they knew that they were in their mind, at least they knew that they were gonna fall over. Think about the times when we crossed continents. Think about the times we just left and just settled in different places.

And we don't know this place. Think about the technologies that we've developed human beings know how to take risks, and our ability to adapt is one of the most powerful things. Now every individual has that within them. And going back to our last conversation, we've been conditioned to stay more in survival mode.

Otherwise, you have it within yourself that if you actually acknowledge it, I've gotten over a lot of things. Why can't I take this other risk? And what's the worst case scenario that's gonna happen? I'm gonna lose some money. I'm gonna lose a little bit of time. But what do you gain out of it?

You gain experience, you gain awareness, you gain wisdom. 

Vinki: That's so true, and I agree with that a hundred percent. I have seen in my life, you know, people who take things as is, you know, without any expectations or without adding any bells and whistles. You know, like if they have some prenotions, you know, like, this thing will happen this way, I'll react to it this way, kind of thing.

They just, they, if you take things as is, the results are always good. Because you are not writing your story before even starting. You know what happens if we write the story through the completion before we want to start, we don't even start with the fear then because we are just worried about the outcome of the story.

Well, this is really good and we are really out of time, so I'm gonna ask you to share one golden nugget with me, please. 

Faisal: Golden nugget around what? 

Vinki: Anything on life, on real estate, on your experience that could help my audience to evolve? 

Faisal: I would say I think a life well lived is a life where you take chances ultimately because without you taking chances, it takes courage to love. It takes courage to build a business. It takes courage to invest. It takes courage to move to a new place. It takes courage to be yourself or to be a better version of yourself. It takes courage to even express your heart to somebody. Everything takes courage, and there's a reason for that. And so if you're not taking those chances. You're limiting yourself to a very small little box. In your comfort area, which might give you comfort, but it won't give you growth. It won't give you experiences, it won't happen to the range of emotions that you have around excitement and joy and even fear, anger, frustration, and all of that stuff.

That's delightful it won't put you in situations where you're gonna have to adapt and learn and grow. And ultimately that's what life is like. All you have to do is study some of the people that you admire the most. You'll find that their life is very interesting and they took a lot of chances, and that's why you admire them.

That's why you're inspired by them. You can be that person Now, quote Karoli, who says, don't study the Buddha. Be the Buddha. 

Vinki: That's so true. I agree on that a hundred percent. 

Faisal: live as if it's you who take full responsibility for your life. And you will see it in your own experience, that that life is worth living versus like this predictable thing that you're taught to follow that's safe, that feels safer.

I think it's an illusion, it feels safer, but you will get bored. You will feel resentful, you will feel disconnected. And over time as you get older and older, life becomes more and more pointless. 

Vinki: Yeah, I agree with that. Well, thank you so much. That was just like so many golden nuggets in this episode and I would love to have you back and I'm gonna look forward to having you back Faisal.

So let's do another topic pretty soon in the coming weeks. And thank you for being with me today. But before we go, can you share your contact information with my audience if somebody would like to reach out to you? 

Faisal: Yeah, for sure. And, just to circle back to the bio, some of, those things have recently changed.

So I actually have a mastermind for real multi-family real estate investors. I focus on coaching, but I have very successful investors that do the mentorship on the real estate side. So you can find out everything about me. Go to Some of the things might not be updated.

You can book a quick conversation with me if you wanna find out how you can be supported to accelerate your path. Ultimately, coaching is about accelerating your path whether it's in your business, your personal growth, or your relationships. You can just have a conversation with me.

I'll either support you if I have the right program or bandwidth, or I'll connect you with the right people because I'm fairly connected in the coaching world. 

Vinki: Thank you so much, Faisal. Thanks for coming to the show. 

Faisal: Thank you for having me Vinky. It's such a pleasure.


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