Unveiling the Truth: Why Actions Speak Louder than Words

Greetings, fellow investors, and welcome to another engaging discussion on this radiant Monday morning. As I find myself traversing through the sunny landscapes of Florida, I'm compelled to delve into a topic that resonates deeply with every human being: the concept of values?

Picture this: how often do we hear individuals profess their ideals, only to witness their actions paint a completely different picture? It's a common paradox that begs the question: what do we truly value? Is it what we say, or is it what we do?

At the heart of it all lies the necessity for brutal honesty, not just with others, but with ourselves. You see, authenticity begins with acknowledging our own truths, even if they're uncomfortable.

Here's the deal: the human mind is wired to judge, whether we like it or not. But rather than condemning this innate tendency, why not harness it to discern the truth? Actions, my friends, are the ultimate litmus test of one's values.

But here's where it gets tricky. Many of us struggle to extend this same level of honesty to others. We demand authenticity while simultaneously suffocating it with our expectations and judgments. It's a vicious cycle that breeds deception and discord.

So, what's the antidote? It's simple, yet profound: embrace the truth, even when it's inconvenient. Start by scrutinizing your own behavior. What do you consistently prioritize in your life? Is it work, family, self-care, or perhaps a combination of these?

By dissecting our actions, we uncover a hierarchy of values, illuminating what truly matters to us. And here's the kicker: it's okay if our priorities don't align with societal norms or the expectations of others. Authenticity, after all, knows no conformity.

But authenticity requires courage—the courage to defy societal pressures and pursue our own truths, even in the face of resistance. It's a daunting prospect, to be sure, but the rewards are immeasurable: inner peace, genuine connections, and a life lived on your own terms.

In essence, let's shift our focus from words to deeds. Let's learn to judge not based on rhetoric but on the consistency of actions. Let's create an environment where honesty thrives, free from the shackles of judgment and approval-seeking.

And to my fellow investors on the brink of transformation, know that you're not alone. If you're yearning to break free from the confines of tradition and embrace a path of purpose and fulfillment, I'm here to support you. Let's connect, let's collaborate, and let's chart a course toward a future defined by authenticity and abundance.

In conclusion, my dear readers, let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together. Let's peel back the layers of pretense and embrace the liberating power of truth. After all, in a world inundated with falsehoods, authenticity shines like a beacon of hope, guiding us toward a life of unparalleled richness and meaning.

Until we meet again, may your days be filled with honesty, clarity, and unwavering conviction. Onward and upward, my friends.

Good morning, amazing investors. I wanted to drop by today on this beautiful Monday morning here. I'm still on the road in Florida. Well, I'm not on the road in one place, but it feels like I've been on the road for the past month or so. Why don't we just jump on and talk a little bit about value or values?

[00:00:24] What do you value as a human being? What do you value an individual? What do you value based on your behavior? And I say this because when you, when you look at people, they tended to say one thing and they do the complete opposite. So, for example, they will, somebody will claim that, well, I value my well being and health, but when you.

[00:00:50] Look at their day to day life. When you see what they're doing, they don't value their well being because they don't eat the right things. They don't take care of themselves. They don't do anything to take care of themselves, but they will say that I value self care. Yeah, same thing with you might be around other people in relationships.

[00:01:10] And somebody will say, and this hits you all the time, somebody will say, well, I value you as a person in my life, or I value spending time with you, or value this and that. But when you watch their behavior, they do the complete opposite of that. And then perplexing you on both sides, in terms of your own thinking or in terms of the other person's thinking or what they say, and here's the truth.

[00:01:37] And these are some of the harsh truths to accept as human beings. And as, as you start to kind of live a life that feels more aligned with you, One of the first things is actually to be honest with yourself rather than other people. People think, well, be honest with other people, be honest, tell the truth.

[00:01:54] Yes, of course. Incredible advice. Here's the thing. Most people don't even tell themselves the truth. [00:02:00] And it starts with that. Because when you start telling the truth to yourself, You will naturally, the expression of that will be telling the truth to others. And also the other side of it is you will understand the difference between truth and lie when other people speak and do things.

[00:02:17] And here's a great axiom. Always judge people by behavior. Always judge yourself by behavior. Or like, oh my god, what, we're judging people? We should be judging people? Yes. Here's the thing, the human mind is a judgmental mind. Which means that this is how we make sense of the world. This is how our mind makes sense of the world.

[00:02:38] This is how we discern truth from lies. This is how we discern what works and what doesn't work. So start with yourself. And for me, it's the same thing. Well, what, why am I here in the middle of 22, 000 something kilometers away, or for those who are in states 1500 miles, something like that away from my home.

[00:02:58] Going to different places, making myself uncomfortable. Packing up everything, including my family, going on the road. Well, I value a few things. One, I value growth. Which means that these kind of situations push me to grow personally. I value awareness, so these kind of things make me grow. I value time with my family.

[00:03:19] These kind of things help me spend time with my family. we get to learn about each other. I value adventure. I value new things, novelty. So that's why that's my behavior. Also value my work. How do I know that? Well, even despite the fact that I've been going around, I'm having so much fun doing other things.

[00:03:42] I still do my work. And I enjoy my work just as much as I enjoy other things. So, and then I'm sharing that in my own experience and I will, and it took me a while to understand this, but I stopped listening to what people say. I start listening to what people [00:04:00] did or do consistently. And that doesn't mean that people are.

[00:04:05] Lying a lot of people get agitated when people say something, but do the opposite. It's not that they, they consciously are trying to deceive you. Some people are. That's the truth. But here's what ends up happening. People want to do certain things they want to put in time to take care of themselves. They want to put in time to spend time with you.

[00:04:27] They want to put in time to do other things, whether it's your life partner, business partners, friends, family, whatever, whatever it is, whoever it is. Deep down, what matters to them are certain things, and they are in an in a hierarchy. So if somebody keeps telling, you know, you know what, I want to spend time with you, but they never come around to doing that, then what the value is, whatever they're doing based on their behavior.

[00:04:54] And that's okay. One of the reasons why people don't share what's actually really in their heart is because they're reprimanded for that. They're punished for that. So and this is a really good advanced relationship tip is that don't punish the people around you for what they do and who they are.

[00:05:13] And this is something we've all learned from other people around us is that whenever somebody wants to do something or somebody, Feels like doing something that matters to them. We will make them feel guilty for doing it to do the opposite or will punish them or something like that.

[00:05:27] We've all gone through that process. Think about that. Even as a child, you want to do something or you want to play and a parent without realizing it will make you feel guilty about something. Or, or maybe you've done that to your child, whatever the case is, but we inadvertently do these things or they get passed on.

[00:05:45] Here's what ends up happening. It turns people into subconsciously becoming deceptive and dishonest people. And I've gone through that process myself, so I'm not pointing fingers at anybody. But when you create an environment where other people are okay to follow what matters to them, [00:06:00] they naturally become honest because they can just say, no, you know what, I don't want to do this right now.

[00:06:05] Maybe later. Or this is what matters to me right now. And that is probably one of the most amazing things you can do in your relationships, whether it's with your kids, with your life partner, with others. And I will admit it's hard and it's complex because you're going to have to be okay with other people saying no to you which means that you might request something, whether it's time with other people or somebody's resources or whatever it is, and you're okay with them saying, no.

[00:06:32] And that's an okay thing when you do that in your relationships. And when you are okay with saying no, despite the discomfort, you're always okay with doing the things that matter to you, despite the discomfort. Then you create honest relationships around you and you create honesty within you. And guess what?

[00:06:52] That's a life that's well lived because it creates more peace within yourself. You don't have to kind of find all these weird ways of trying to Deceive people or trying to go roundabout ways of trying to tell people that this is what what matters to me. So and this has been my journey and it took me 40 plus years to understand this.

[00:07:15] But one as a starting point, I'll give you a couple of tips around this. Start looking at your day to day life. Start looking at your daily life, look at what you do consistently, the things that you're interested in, the things that you're doing, see what matters to you, your behavior will show clearly what matters to you now, whether it's wanting to go to the gym, if you love that, then that's what you value, or whether it's going, spending time with friends, whether you, if you do that, that's what you value, and you will see that that when you make a list of the things that you do consistently.

[00:07:50] There will be a hierarchy as well. There are certain things will value more. You will value more than others. So a lot of people will say, well, I value my [00:08:00] family more than anybody else, but they don't spend much time with their family. They don't do much for their family. They actually spend time glorifying themselves a lot of times, and they will make it seem like they care about their family, which means that they will be like, Oh, I do everything for a family.

[00:08:16] I'm always working this and that. Yes, but you're also doing it for yourself. So be honest about that part. And. The reason why I share this is because it's, it needs to start somewhere. If you're a leader in your family, in your community, in your organization, start doing a tally of what are the things that you do consistently and where, where are the hierarchies of them?

[00:08:39] What do you value the most? What do you value after that? What do you value after that? You will find that the things that you don't do or that are not part of your behavior, they kind of go around about ways and you don't, like you kind of, Are not honest about that without realizing it are the things that you don't do.

[00:08:57] You just don't value them right now, or they're not. They haven't solidified it right now. And maybe they will be valuable for you to do later. But right now you have other priorities that matter to you. And maybe that priorities work. Maybe as a as a really ambitious person, you really want to work and, and you want time.

[00:09:13] Be honest about that. Tell the people around you that, you know what? I really value work. Why? Well, one, because I want, want to feel successful, two, because I want to provide for my family, three, because I want to create a future, whatever it is. Be honest about that and tell the people around you, even if they don't understand what you In the moment, do your best to communicate because people will respect you long term, even though they might have resistance short term around it.

[00:09:39] But if you say that a value, but then you spend more more of your time doing the opposite that creates, and lack of respect and all sorts of other things. And again, it starts with you, you have to model, you have to start, you don't have to, you get to, if this is what matters to you, you need to start demonstrating yourself [00:10:00] and then start.

[00:10:01] Getting other people to being okay with other people around you to do the same thing, start helping them understand that it's okay for them to say no. It's okay for them to do the thing that matters to them. That might be the opposite of what you want from them. And by the way, you can use that in your relationships and your personal life.

[00:10:19] Also, in the professional world, think about something like sales, you're in business, you're in sales, somebody says, no, after you dealt with objections. That's okay. Don't get mad about that stuff. Keep sending value. Keep supporting people until they're ready. It teaches people, it shows people something very unique that they might not have in their life.

[00:10:39] That you're okay with people not making decisions that align with you versus themselves. You're okay with them making decisions that feel aligned with them. And this is something I say to my clients all the time or potential clients that I'm not attached to. If you sign up to my program or when you sign up to my program, I'll keep serving you, keep adding value when you're ready, come join me.

[00:11:02] And usually people respect that and value that. So it shows up in your business as well. so ask yourself, what are the areas if I were to take a tally of my life, what are the areas based on my behavior do I value? Is it work? On top, is it family? Is it my self care? Is it my spiritual life? Whatever it is, whatever it is, be honest with yourself, because that will completely, I promise you, that will completely change.

[00:11:28] It's uncomfortable to admit, but that will change the way that you behave, and it will also help you understand other people around you. And I'll say one last thing. Most people, and this is a very powerful frame that I've learned by Dr. Gabor Mate, Authenticity versus attachment. Most people sacrifice their authenticity.

[00:11:47] What's real and what they know in their heart is real for them. It's real to them. They want to do those things. They sacrifice that for approval from other people. Why? Because that's a human right. Huge part of being a human [00:12:00] being. You want other people to accept you. In fact, our survival depends on that.

[00:12:04] I won't go in detail around that because I've done other videos and go on my YouTube channel around that. But we want, literally our survival depends on acceptance from other people, especially those. Closest to us. So it's uncomfortable for us to tell the truth. . It doesn't feel good for us to tell the truth when we're not accepted or supported, or we don't feel supported in our current environment.

[00:12:28] But long term, if you look at this long term, the best way for you to live your life is even if you're uncomfortable, even if you feel like you'll be rejected or, or people will not support you in the short term, still tell the truth around the things that matter to you, because long term, you will find that you will gain respect, those people will come around.

[00:12:47] And this is a hard thing to do. I understand that. So, for example, if you value, you. The world that you want to create the kind of life you want to create, but those people around you are not supportive of that. Guess what? The best thing for you to do is start going towards that and telling the truth that you know what?

[00:13:03] This matters to me. I'm going to do this. And I don't just say this. Theoretically, that's what I've been able to do and short term. It's incredibly uncomfortable. It's incredibly unnerving, but long term, It brings you peace. It brings you growth. It brings you awareness. And you get surrounded by other people that value that over time, even if the people around you don't accept it short term.

[00:13:25] I'll leave it at that. I know I kind of shared my thoughts around it all over the place, but I want to understand what you're thinking. How you've approached honesty in your life, how you've approached what you value in your life. Did this help you think of some things that are different than before?

[00:13:42] And in terms of other people around you, are you hoping that somebody would change their behavior just because they keep saying something or do you judge them based on their behavior? Trust me when I say people demonstrate what they value based on their behavior, not based on what they say. Start ignoring what [00:14:00] people say a lot of times or take it as a grain of salt and start watching what people do.

[00:14:05] It will make your life much more simple. Watch what you do as a starting point versus what you say and watch for what other people do Versus what they say and it will help you understand people much more clearly. Human beings are complex beings, especially what they say Usually doesn't feel aligned with what they do and there are rare people who will say what they do And those are great people to be around.

[00:14:30] I'll leave it at that. Let me know your thoughts below. I'd love to connect with you and understand answer any questions and also continue that dialogue forward. I don't pretend to . No, everything I'm sharing what my thoughts are, what my journey has been and I love to learn from you. And so we can all learn from each other.

[00:14:48] And that's 1 of the main purposes of this content. And if you're an investor following this you've been on the spot for a little bit, you're trying to quit your W2 to go towards the path that matters to you and path of freedom, purpose, legacy, fulfillment and you've been struggling a little bit, or you're going slow.

[00:15:06] If you want, then just book a call with me. I've been working with multifamily investors for the past six years. I've been in the coaching world for the past 10 plus year years. I'd love to just get on a call just to see how I can support you. If I can support you, I'll connect you with the right people because I'm fairly connected in the coaching therapy and mentoring world.

[00:15:23] Until my next conversation, hope you have an incredible day.